5 days

This week is going to either fly by or drag like an old, blind snail with a limp.

It is my last week of work with the Awful Company. These are the last 5 days I'll be working for the organization which has done nothing but screw up my job for the past 8 months.

Remember when they announced they were closing the office and gave us all an end date for our employment? Psych! How about a month later when they asked some of us to stay and work remotely? Then the office closed and no provisions were made to move everyone's equip home, so Matthew drove into the city and moved 4 people into their home offices in Brooklyn without so much as a "thanks" from the company. Good times. Oh yeah, what about the day that I found out the useless woman who stole my plant got a massive promotion (yes, you read that right - a grown, professional woman stole my plant)? I especially liked the day we had a stress management seminar... which was so poorly done it was hilarious. I clearly remember the day they were supposed to pay me my bonus and then didn't, which meant I had to scramble to figure out how to pay for our wedding.

I will finish this week no matter how fast or slow it goes and then I will take a well deserved week off. I know I just took a honeymoon, so it might seem silly to say the time off is "well deserved", but I need this time. I need to, paraphrasing Lynilu here, shake off the crap before I start anew. I want to start my new job fresh and ready to jump in and get my hands dirty, not exhausted and frazzled, still coming down from the frenzy of Awful Company.

Ball & Chain

I love being married. It's new. It feels great. There's this sense of wonder that accompanies my newly married status. My relationship with my now husband hasn't really changed. We were living together before. We were totally committed to each other. We planned on a future together that includes kids and the whole nine yards. We are each other's family. Getting married didn't make a difference in the way we see each other or treat each other.

But something is different. Something is more important. Seems like there's this part of us that is officially "in it" now. It's strange. I used to think getting married wasn't a necessary part of life for me. I didn't think that the piece of paper with the state seal on it made much of a difference if the commitment was already there.

But then I married my husband. I married him and realized that this is what I wanted all along. It's an amazing feeling.

An aisle I don't have to walk down

(Random picture: I think Kristie & I look like we're up to something.)










The Hubba Hubba Hubby (thanks, Kristie!) and I are off to Rhode Island this weekend for Kerri's wedding. It's going to be great. She & Chris are awesome and their wedding is going to be loads of fun. She's going to be a breathtaking bride and I can't wait to see them take the same step we recently took.

It's been 3 weeks since we got married and this is the first wedding we'll go to as a married couple. It's funny, I'm so thrilled for Kerri, but I'm also a little jealous because I know how amazing my wedding day was and I wish I could relive it. This is the first of 3 weddings this summer. We're going to love going to other peoples' parties. We didn't have to plan them. We didn't have to pay for them. We get to celebrate the union of people who are fantastic together and that's always a good thing - above all else - it's a celebration of love and that's the best. Now... what to wear???

Nevermind

It's raining and gross outside. I love those New Kids and all, but standing in the rain with half of Jersey (no offense) in Rock Plaza isn't my idea of fun right now. We'll see more on TV anyway.

** UPDATE **
I'm not sure what I was expecting. Not sure if I was expecting a total let down or a smashing medley of all their old hits that sounded perfect. It wasn't a total let down. However, those guys might need to rethink this whole new record and tour thing. They weren't exactly "Hangin' Tough", if you know what I mean. "Step By Step" they might get back to their previous glory, but I doubt it.

Everyone gets older.

Even Joey McIntyre.

NKOTB

Playing the Today Show tomorrow. We're going.

Doing the "I Quit My Job" dance

I'm not sure what the steps are, but I'm dancing up a storm here in my living room/former office. I did it. I gave my notice. My last day is next Friday. This feels so good. I have my dear friend, Martine, to thank for getting my foot in the door.

For the record, this was a photo taken on one of our last 3:00PM Dance Parties before the office closed. Yes, that's a big bottle of Russian beer. Yes, those are tiny cups. No, there's not really a disco ball in that office.

Check, check... 1, 2, 1, 2

This and this and this all display varying degrees of my lack of patience. As if I needed to make it just a little more obvious...

It's only 9:28AM and I started checking my cell phone obsessively every few minutes around 7:30 just to make sure I haven't missed a phone call from HR at the company I hope will be making me an offer today.

I am pathetic.

At least I am aware of my own pathetic state. That might constitute progress on some level.

The previous sentence might constitute an utterly ridiculous attempt at justification.

Maybe.

**UPDATE**
I GOT THE OFFER. I got the call and the offer was superb, better than I'd hoped, actually. I've called my old NYC boss and told her about my resignation, but I haven't been able to get in touch with my current boss because she's been in meetings ever since she got online this morning. I'm making next Friday my last day and I'm not starting the new job until 6/2. That means I'll have a full week off between jobs. I've never done that before. I've always ended on a Friday and started the next gig on Monday. Not this time! This time I essentially gave myself a hefty raise, better benefits, and a week's vacay. I'm feeling pretty good right now.

Patience is a virtue... which I lack.

Word on the street is that I'll be getting a job offer as a result of that kickass second interview I had yesterday morning. It's not official until I have something in my inbox or a phone call, but it's coming. Lucky for me, "the street" the word is on happens to be my own since my dear friend and neighbor is the one with the insider info.

Trick is, I'm fighting with myself every second that passes not to quit my job. I don't have an offer yet, I can't quit my job without an offer. But man, oh man do I want to!

I know 2 weeks' notice is customary. I have usually given more - typically closer to a month. I like my employers to be prepared and to have ample time to get my replacement up to speed before I haul ass out of there. This time, though, I don't think I'll do even the full 2 weeks. If I get an offer tomorrow, I'll give my notice and make next Friday my last day. I can't stomach this company for longer than that. It's a courtesy and since they've shown me none to speak of I think a week & 1/2 is ample time.

Grey Monday

(Matthew did a marvelous job with the photo I took of an old clock in Paris)

If I'm being honest (yes, that was a Simon Cowell reference) I'll say that today I'm a little bummed out. Today is just a day. Just a Monday. It's raining. It's cold. This kind of damp cold sets into my bones and chills me through until the next warm day appears.

This plain, rainy Monday holds none of the giddy anticipation of the wedding planning days. It doesn't have the buzz of the Monday we left for our honeymoon. We're not setting out for Berlin's Checkpoint Charlie tomorrow. Nothing. Today is simply today.

How is it that before the wedding that was good enough and now it seems so lackluster? I think this is what people mean when they talk about the post-wedding blues.

Silly if you think about it. I'm getting blue because I feel like there's no big something looming on my horizon to look forward to. I know that every day can't be my wedding day, and to wish it were is preposterous. Still, that doesn't stop a small part of me from longing for that excitement again. That small part is big enough to hold sway on my moon on a rainy, plain Monday.

I have much to be thankful for. I have the most loving husband and the best friends I could conjure up. Plus, "all signs point to yes" for my chances of getting an offer for the job I had a second interview for today. Those are all wonderful, bright, shining things. I'm glad to have them.

But, today is still a rainy Monday in the end. So, when my husband comes home I'll open a bottle of champagne and we'll dance around the kitchen and pretend that it's the end of a very exciting day. He's my fairytale prince, afterall. No harm in a little make-believe.

'Nuff said

I love you, Mom. Thanks for teaching me, guiding me, making me laugh, laughing at me, bandaging scraped knees and bruised pride, scolding me, hugging me, putting me to bed, waking me up, loving me and helping me become who I am.

At my wedding when a group of my friends told you how much they love me you said, "She's pretty awesome, eh? She's the me I never was." And you smiled from ear to ear. I told you as we got ready that evening that I'd never seen you look more beautiful. Truth is, you're always beautiful to me.

Snore

Jetlagged. Sleepy. Tired. Can't get moving. Ugh.

The thought of working on Monday makes me want to jump out the window. Lucky for me I don't have the energy to do it... besides, we live on the ground floor.