Side-splitting email banter

Yesterday I was feeling pretty cranky and sad and down and weird. Whenever I'm feeling less than stellar I know I can count on my friends (2 in particular) to make me laugh so hard that I snort and giggle and try to hold it in and then end up making all sorts of embarrassing noises in my cubicle. They will randomly bust out with a little snippet of witty something or other that tickles me like nothing else. I don't know how they do it. They're two of the funniest women around, I swear to you it's true. This is a small sampling of what I get in my inbox from them every day. It's awesome to have people like this in your life.

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I had written that I was feeling sad and missing my friends a lot.
K wrote:
well, even if we're miles and miles away, we're with you in spirit, girl. that's what verizon-to-verizon is for when you can't give hugs- you give verbal hugs. ((((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))
well, to brighten your day, how about i give you a snippet of mine! :)
i'm cramping today- took all the aleve that i was allowed to in a 24hour period and now i had to break out the heating pad because it's getting really bad. and i'm working late tonight. B and J (from work) took me out to lunch and gave me a victoria's secret gift certificate... and we noshed on chicken fingers and fries. i proceeded to chip off half the tooth that i had the root canal on while i was eating a fry and couldn't eat anymore i was so grossed out. at least it doesn't hurt- but now i'm walking around with 1/2 a molar. FUN. J smacked me with a door on the way out of the restaurant, and i looked at myself in the mirror after we got back to the office and found these HUGE creases under my eyes that i had never seen before- maybe i'm just really dehydrated and worn out from shitting myself all day yesterday and being so uncomfortable today. yeah. let's say that's it. HOLY HELL. lol

Now, she's going to kill me because I left the part in about the shit - but here's the deal. There's a small circle of us who are all afflicted with the horrors of ineffective digestive systems. We don't like it, we're not proud of it, and we're bothered by it. But, there's camaraderie in bad bathroom experiences, so we chat about it when it's particularly bad. Makes light of the fact that our bodies are staging an intestinal revolution without our consent.

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J had deleted the email that had my address in it for the 4th time and we were all having a bit of fun with what my correct address actually is.
I wrote:
Close, but it's actually 763 NW Crazytown Cir., Ghettosweatyheatwaveland, FL 33127
J wrote:
Is that anywhere close to 2100 Leavemethefalone St., Getthefrickoutofmywayyoufatsmellydude, Washington DC 20037?
K wrote:
oh man, that's so close to my 1810 N. Canibuyacigaretteoffya Street, NW Apt. screaminghusbandnextdoorbump&grindmusicdownstairs, Washington, DC 20002
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I love those girls. I really do. I get to see them a week from today and I am so happy about that my face might crack from smiling so much! It's been way too long since I've seen them and I might hug them so hard they pop. I'm going to try not to, though. Love shouldn't hurt. *snarf*