Flaming Emails and a Rather Affected Outlook

I believe the cubicle next to me is dangerous. I think it's infecting people who sit there with the dreaded stupidity virus. Cuban Lady sits there and she's obviously been contaminated, but I had previously assumed it was just in her nature to be dimwitted. She's out today, so there is a substitute secretary sitting in her cube - the cube of evil. The sub is stupid, too. I think he's been compromised. As a sub, he had to call the IT desk to get the computer configured to his settings. That phone call was my first clue that there was something terribly wrong with the cube itself. What transpired during that call can only be attributed to a force beyond human understanding. I believe it to be rooted in pure evil, I believe it to be the stupidity virus. The following is the side of the conversation I was able to hear:

Sub>:

• Hi, IT guy? *pause*
  
• Um, IT guy? *pause*
  
• Oh, Phil, sorry. Hi, Phil. I didn't know your name was Phil. *pause*
  
• Hello? *pause*
  
• Oh yeah, hi, I didn't know if you were there, Phil. Thought you might have hung up or something like that. *pause*
  
• I don't know. I didn't hear anything. Sounded like you weren't there. *pause*
  
• OK, I'm calling to get this thing set up. *pause*
  
• I don't know what you call it, set up, that's what I know it as. I need it set up. *pause*
  
• Well, I said I don't know, Phil. I'm not the IT guy. Gawd. *pause*
  
• Set up. Set up. I need this thing set up so I can use it. I can't just sit here all day you know. *pause*
  
• Yeah, OK. Where is it? *pause*
  
• Where? Uh huh. I don't have one of those. *pause*
  
• Yes, I'm sure. I told you I was sure, Phil. There isn't anything like that on mine. *pause*
  
• I am looking there. There isn't one. *pause*
  
• Oh... um. Well, well... that doesn't make any sense at all and I think it's completely stupid. *pause*
  
• Because! Why don't they just call it EMail? What the hell is an Outlook anyway and how does that have anything to do with Email? It's like calling the Email button "Monkey" or something. Gawd.

Is it time to leave yet? 5:00 cannot come soon enough. A whole day of this queen and I might implode. I forgot to mention that you should read that converation with a very affected fake-gay tone in your voice. There's being gay and then there's being an annoying queen. Save the drama fo yo mama and talk like a person, Chief. This is the kind of guy that makes homophobes feel justified. This is the kind of guy that makes my gay friends cringe. It's sad, really. Just act like yourself, I know it's hard, I struggle with that as a straight woman. Be yourself, it's the best route. But above all, protect yourself against the stupidity virus. I'm sure it can be fatal in extreme cases.


On a different note: Have you ever done a Google image search using rather specific words like "ridiculous stupidity" and come up a handful of pictures of regular-looking people doing nothing out of the ordinary? When looking for a pic to post with this entry I searched and found that everyday normal folks have awful things written about them in photo titles posted online. "Ridiculous tupidity" brought up random photos, one of which was of a woman who looks like my grandmother sitting at a table drinking tea. Strange. By the way, if you Google "raving queen" Elton John comes up.