HVD

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! I trust we're all in a festive and loving spirit today, because if we're not I fear Hallmark may come hunting. The goons of the over-sentimentalized greeting card world will string us up by our toenails in the town square and pelt us with candy hearts.

Texas Lady here at work is sure feeling celebratory. She just had a lovely little chat with her dear husband on speaker phone (full volume, natch) about his latest kind gesture.

Texas Lady: You did what?
Hubby: I picked you up a salad.
Texas Lady: I don't get it. Why did you do that?
Hubby: You said you didn't want to cook tonight, so I thought it would be nice to get you something you'd like.
Texas Lady: Well, what kind of salad?
Hubby: The California Cobb one that you like so much!
Texas Lady: Does it have romaine? You know I only like romaine. If you got me that damn salad and it's not all, 100%, fully romaine I'm going to be pissed.
Hubby: Oh no, honey, it's all romaine. I asked specifically.
Texas Lady: Yeah, but did you check it? You know those people are imbeciles. They can't put together a salad if their lives depended on it.
Hubby: Oh honey, it's their job, you know, to put together the salads. It's really what they do. I'm sure it's all romaine.
Texas Lady: It better be. That's all I'll say, it just better damn well be all romaine.

Needless to say, I hate her.

But I don't hate you, dear bloggy friends. I heart you. I heart you like a fat kid hearts cake.