TITLE REMOVED BECAUSE SICKASS PERVERTS KEEP SEARCHING FOR DISGUSTING THINGS AND FINDING MY BLOG

Only a handful of times in my adult life have I actively wished I could have a different body type. I'm not skinny, I'm not fat, I'm pleasantly in between. I am more or less satisfied with my physical form. It serves me well - this body has a decent amount of strength and it's even kinda nice to look at now and then.

However, I have an irrational desire to inhabit Ellen Page's body and claim it as my own. It's weird. She pretty much looks like a 12 year old boy with [REDACTED BECAUSE OF DISGUSTING PERVERTS], but somehow I think she's the cutest thing in the world. WTF? She certainly doesn't fit my typical top slated female body type (I've said consistently that I think Monica Belluci is the most beautiful woman around), and she's not the kind of girl I'd notice on the street for being particularly attractive. In fact, if I saw her in person I'd probably think she was 13 years old and could benefit from the caloric value of a cheeseburger. As I like to say, "Someone get that girl a sandwich."

But there's just something about Ellen, in particular, that has endeared her to me in such a way. Juno is a great movie and her performance is amazing. Plus, we saw her on Letterman last week and she was adorable and smart and funny and you could tell Dave really dug her, too. She wore this gorgeous dress with a really smart bow on the front - a bow! the girl can pull off bows w/o hearkening back to the 80s or making me sick - and generally looked composed and totally together. She looked a little uncomfortable in heels, which was fantastic. Also, David Carr of the NY Times interviewed her and said she was "nice and normal". You don't often hear that about up and coming actors.

I just love her. Here, watch her. Love her, too. You will. She's fab. (almost as fab as Dave's strike beard)