round and round...

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Can't see straight

Just got home from the redeye back to New York. So glad to be back. New York never looked so good to me. Best part? Matthew brought Duke with him when he came to pick me up at the airport. That was the most adorable welcoming committee ever formed.

Quick story about my ditzy behavior this week before I head off for a nap: Tuesday morning my flight took off at 6AM, so I was going through security around 4:45. It was wicked early and I was quite sleepy. Everyone in line went through the motions - take off shoes, place them in bin, take off jacket, place it in bin, take laptop out of bag, place it in bin, take off belt... you get the idea. I was putting my shoes back on when I heard a woman behind me start to scream and yell. She had been picked for random search and she was none too happy about it. Her volume kept increasing and so did the tension at the security checkpoint. She was pissed because she was apparently running a little late and she was insistent that she was being searched because she was black. You can imagine how it escalated from there. It was loud. The whole scenario was so damn loud. I couldn't wait to get away from the screaming. I got to my gate, relieved I had escaped the ruckus. I boarded the plane, connected in Cincinnati, boarded another plane for Seattle, everything was fine. About halfway to Seattle I opened my eyes wide and my heart started to race, it almost felt as if I had the wind knocked out of me. Why? I realized I left my laptop at the checkpoint. I never put the thing back in my bag. I was so concerned with getting my various clothes back on so I could get away from The Screamer that I just left without it. I had to borrow a computer all week from the Seattle office and hope and pray that when I got back to JFK they'd have mine in the lost & found.

You wouldn't believe how many laptops they have there! The woman working the desk told me they get about 2 a day - and that's just one terminal. Each terminal has its own TSA department and each department has its own lost & found. 2 laptops per day x 4 terminals... you get the idea. The kicker is that they had my laptop, but it doesn't have my name in it yet since it's one of the replacement computers IT had to send me when I had all those hardware issues last week. It still had the IT guy's name in it. I told her what name would be in it, but she wasn't going to let me take it because the name wasn't mine. Sorry lady, but I can guarantee you no one would be able to randomly guess a Pakistani name with more syllables than you can count. It's not the kind of name you just pull out of thin air. She was dead set on following procedure and said I couldn't take it unless this guy got on the phone to verify I could have it. There was no way I could get a hold of him at 6AM Seattle time on a Saturday morning. I figured I had to do the only thing I could think of to get that computer back.

I turned on the waterworks. Crying does it every time. I can cry at the drop of a hat, so this worked out well. I started blubbering about how if I didn't have that computer for my meeting on Monday morning I'd get fired and I'm getting married in 3 months and I won't be able to pay for the wedding and my fiance would leave me and I'd be shunned by my family... It was a stellar performance. A real show stopper. A minute after the tears started I was walking out of the airport, computer in hand.


5 What people are saying:

Anonymous The Rover rambles...

WOW! Nice work! See, I knew that all that work we did in HS would pay off one day...

1/27/2008 10:13:00 PM

Anonymous Safa rambles...

LOL. I love the lap top-crying story. I just picture you looking like Mary Tyler Moore crying and giving them way too much info...but hey, it worked!

1/28/2008 10:32:00 AM

Blogger Patti rambles...

*clap* *clap* *clap*

What a dumb bitch to not let you have it after you gave the proper name. I mean.. seriously!

1/28/2008 11:16:00 AM

Blogger Sandra rambles...

BRAVO Maestro!!!

I will remember this next time I'm in a situation like that - the timely use of waterworks mode sometimes gets alot more achieved that the old "gimme my goddamn computer" bitch mode.

1/28/2008 12:43:00 PM

Blogger Retro Girl rambles...

And the award for most dramatic performance in an airport-laptop-fiasco scene goes to....(drumroll....) Melissa!! lol.

You're such a rockstar! Glad you got it back!

I don't think my luck is that good...You've definitely got the knack!

1/28/2008 10:35:00 PM


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