Short-timer's comin' on strong

I've got it. A bad case of short-timer's syndrome. I am full on, dead serious, committed to no longer giving a shit about work. Don't get me wrong, I want to make sure that my teammates aren't left hanging with loads and loads of work when I go, but for the most part I'm just counting the days until I get to peace out of that joint and turn in my gawd awful ID badge and electronic card key for that gawd awful building.

Let me make a toast (with imaginary glass held high, brimming with the sparkling goodness of expensive champagne - also obviously courtesy of my overactive imagination) to my job: Here's to no longer commuting to New Jersy from Brooklyn every damn day of the week except for when I'm traveling like some nomadic maniacal workaholic, in which case here's to a marked decrease in the need to deal with airport delays and scratchy hotel sheets. Here's to no more shuttle rides with rude drivers who act like you're completely ruining their day by giving them a reason to have a job. Here's to the snobby girls in the office who act like their very presence is a reason to be glad to work for a large fashion conglomerate (it amuses me to no end that they dimly avoid the idea that should they actually be involved in a fashion-y part of the business [design, PR, anything at all having to do with glamour in any way shape or form] they'd be working from the Madison Avenue offices and not Bumfuck East, New Jersey. Here's to not seeing the Medieval Times "dinner and tournament" when we pull into the office parking lot (oh yeah, there's one next to us. That's hot, right?). Here's to leaving behind a terrible HR department and no one who knows what the details of the 401k plan are. Here's to no more frustrations over unqualified people being promoted to positions of authority for no good reason. Here's to not having to deal with corporate idiocy on a daily basis.

So as not to seem like a negative, horrible, doomsday thinking bitch - I haven't hated every day of my job. Really. Just most of them.