round and round...

Monday, August 08, 2005

Serenity now...

Today has been bizarre.

It's been so bizarre that I'm not quite sure where the normalcy left off and the bizarre-ness began. Let me first say that this post is tinged with sake, as I made myself an excellent lychee martini half an hour ago and it's seeping into my very grateful bloodstream as I type. Oh, those Japanese, they use rice in so many wonderful ways.

Back to the bidness at hand. Bizarre-o land. That's where I live. Let's start with yesterday. The man and I went to the beach. It was a beautiful morning (as you can see from the pics) and the water was warm. Nothing strange about that. However, the otherwise lovely morning was marred by some unsettling financial news that got me all riled up and stressed out. I called my bank's automated system from the car on the way to the beach to make sure that this month's student loan payment was deducted from my account as it should have been and found that there were 2 pending transactions (rather sizeable ones) that I didn't authorize. The system doesn't tell you what the charges are for, it just lists the dates and the amounts. I couldn't find anything out yesterday since the bank was closed, so I had to call first thing this morning. I tried my best to be calm about the missing money and enjoy my time at the beach with the man (who was a doll the whole time I was being a lunatic), but it was hard to put the thought of money problems out of my mind. I snapped the pics you see and swam a little, but was on pins and needles the whole time.

This morning when I called, a very nice woman told me that she didn't have access to the details of the withdrawals since they hadn't been "hard posted" yet, and I should call back after lunch, sometimes the pending transactions from a previous business day are available the next afternoon. I spent 2 minutes in a frenzy, worried over my disappearing money once again, and then decided to put it behind me and get on with my day. Took a quick, crash course in writing html online and taught myself all sorts of really cool code tricks and tags I didn't know before. Then went to work (my new part time job!) and actually used said newfound knowledge. That was fun and rewarding. My brain works, at least partially. A little reassurance goes a long way. The afternoon at work went well, the guy I work for is pretty cool and laid-back. We have nice small talk and the work isn't hard. It's a great part time thing.

Then, I got home from work and there was a message on the voice mail from a company I sent my resume to yesterday in response to a job listing the man found online. The position sounds good (the very little I know about it, anyway) and the company does very cool work (checked out their website). They want me to come in for an interview tomorrow, which is very exciting, but it leaves me with the problem of figuring out what to wear when hardly any of my clothes are Florida-friendly and professional at the same time. I was in such a tizzy after I scheduled the interview that I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off for about 15 minutes torturing the poor man by asking him if certain jackets went with certain pants and skirts and does this go and this looks stupid, doesn't it, doesn't it??? It was pathetic. He eventually convinced me to calm down, take a deep breath, eat some dinner and then go back to the clothing dilemma. I then proceeded to break down into a blithering idiot, crying my eyes out and pacing the kitchen like a fool. It's the money stuff that's weighing on me, it's the nerves about this interview because I've put a lot of pressure on myself to be fantastic tomorrow since the money woes would really be helped out by a great full time position, it's that I miss my friends back in NYC and DC, it's that the man has to leave for a few days (there's been a death in the family, and here I am worrying about all sorts of things and my family is fine... I am such a selfish bitch sometimes), it's a lot of things, really, and all the little stressors came to the surface tonight in the kitchen. Lucky for me the man is great in a crisis and he just held me and told me that everything will be alright. The great thing is that I know he's right. I just wish it would come sooner. And I wish I found lots of money in a secret compartment out in the garage in a loose cinder block or something. And I wish I had someone to come dress me in fabulous clothes tomorrow for this interview.

I almost forgot, I got an email about a friend's wedding today. We've had not one conversation about me being in her wedding, yet this particular email was titled "Hello Bridesmaids". I was on a list with 6 other girls who got this email giving us the website of the bridesmaids dresses she's picked out for us to wear... and this is the first I've heard mention of me being in the wedding. Is it just me, or is that strange/rude/ambush-esque? The dress costs more than the plane ticket to attend the wedding. There's something majorly wrong with that. Even if I had a bank account that didn't resemble the scarlet letter right now I'd still think there was something amiss there.

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