round and round...

Friday, August 05, 2005

Friday in Miami... what a strange day

There are times in my life that remind me that C+C Music Factory was right - there are, indeed, Things That Make You Go Hmm. Today is one of those times. It all started out when we went to get the title of the man's motorcycle from the title beaureau. We had to pick up the crazy old guy he bought the bike from in order to get the title, you see, the COG (crazy old guy) lost the title and he needed to be there in person with the man in order to have a legal transfer. So, we go pick up the COG and head over to the title place. Well, the COG is really weird (he's not the COG for nothing) and we're standing in line and he starts getting all fidgety. Then he goes, "I'm eastern Eurpoean. We're all very paranoid." Nice. This is after he said the line was going to be long because of all the "Cuban mamas". And he wasn't being cute or the least bit complimentary. (not as bad as the other day when he made a comment about Haitians, called them Carribbeaners. It was funny because anytime someone is that predjudiced it's kind of amusing, but creepy because he's old school eastern Eurpoean and I wonder what other groups of people he can't stand... note to self: don't talk about being a pseudo Jew the next time you see the COG) Then, he pats the leg pocket on his cargo pants and says to the man, "I have something to show you later. Something I'm selling. You might need it in your neighborhood." Well, instantly we knew he was talking about a gun. You know, to protect the man and me from any of those Carribbeaners in the neighborhood.

The COG had a friggin' GUN in his pocket. Again, nice. So, we finish up at the title broker, we get back in the car to take the COG home and he whips out the gun. Oh yeah. In traffic he pulls it out and starts talking about how it's never been fired and how he has the case for it and even a pearl handle. It has 2 interchangeable barrels to fire 2 different sized bullets. This gun was the tiniest, coolest gun I've ever seen, but it was still weird that the dude had the gun and was showing us IN THE CAR in case we wanted to buy it from him. He handed it to me and everything. The gun is wicked cool, I must say. It has an adjustable scope and it's called the Black Widow. He can't bend his index finger enough to fire it if he had to, so he's selling it. He's 70, body doesn't work like it used to - he has to get a sidecar just so he can ride his new BMW because it's too heavy for him. The gun's way too small for the man's hand, but it fits quite nicely in mine... I just don't think I could have a handgun. I think I'd be too freaked out by having it in the house. I like going to the range and acting all buff and shit, but I like to leave it all there when I go home, you know? It's just not a Melissa type of thing to own a (very concealable) handgun. Anyway, isn't that weird? What a strange afternoon. On the way home we stopped at the dollar store. Man, I love that! Nothing like the title bureau, the COG, being one of the only 3 non-Spanish speaking people in the title bureau, a random handgun, and the dollar store. It's not even 5:00 yet!

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