Am I angry or am I sad and why can't I tell the difference?

The big ol' kick in the ass of the day is that I just got a very short email telling me that the GM of the theatre company that is supposed to be hosting my fashion show in November (yep, my very first one that's only a month and a half away) saying, "Unfortunately at this time I don't feel we can continue moving forward with this Fashion Show. I am sorry things were originally misrepresented to you. Perhaps in the future we can talk more about a collaboration with your fashion line." That's it. That's the whole thing. No more explanation than that. Zip, nada, bupkis. I asked for one, but I doubt I'll get it. My gut feeling is that there were too many cooks in the kitchen and balls got dropped left and right on their end. Duties were shifted around and producers were changed halfway through the planning process and I think rather than clean up other peoples' messes the GM would rather cancel my show than work it out up there.

"Originally misrepresented" to me? How is that, exactly? Misrepresented in the sense that it was scheduled at all? Misrepresented? You asked me to do a show. I said I'd love to. We talked about dates, we settled on one. I got a list of electronic equip. at the space and talked to you about A/V stuff. We talked about the guidelines for printed materials and email advertising. Your people offered to emcee and send out email invitations of their own. I already have people lined up to work the show, be models, come into town to attend. I've already bought fabric, started making clothes, lined the man up to do the graphics portion. Misrepresented is quite beyond understatement.

Location isn't everything in fashion. In many other areas it's all there is, but luckily with this type of thing it's not a make it or break it kind of requirement. But it is a requirement - I can't stage a show on the sidewalk in New York in November. Brr. But, what I can do is keep my wits about me, gather my strength and calm (which are both waning fast) and get my NYC girls to put their heads together to see if they have any ideas about alternate locales. I just need a space. Give me a room and I can put on this show.

While I know that this isn't the end, it's an awfully hard blow to my confidence because now there's a major chink in the chain and I don't know exactly what my next step is. This will happen, but doubtfully the same weekend. This is my dream we're talking about here. My dream will not be squashed by circumstance, but it's tough to get past the initial shock and get to work on plan B. I'm angry and sad and tired and energized all at the same time. Now I need to turn any negativity into positive energy so it doesn't eat me alive and I'll be fine.