Maybe Worse Than The Lung Butter From Cuban Lady

Texas Lady is having this conversation in her "office" right now (with the door open and her husband on speaker phone). When reading her part, please make sure to inject an over zealous amount of attitude into your tone:

Texas Lady: But I thought we were going couch shopping tonight.
Poor Husband: Well, we left it kind of up in the air, but if you'd like to do that tonight we sure can. I'll make some dinner and we can go after you have some time to relax.
Texas Lady: I don't need to relax. I need to have my husband not be such a loser.
Poor Husband: Ouch. That kind of hurt my feelings, but I'm not going to take it personally because you seem rather stressed out right now.
Texas Lady: I am not stressed out and I am damn sick of you always saying that.
Poor Husband: I'm just trying to look out for you. OK, if you'd prefer not to go couch shopping tonight we can certainly wait until the weekend. In fact, let's go next weekend. This weekend let's just chill out and take it easy.
Texas Lady: Gawd! Do you have any clue how retarded you are? Next weekend is the weekend after Thanksgiving. I am so not going shopping for anything the weekend after Thanksgiving.
Poor Husband: Oh, c'mon, we could make a day of it and it would be fun. We could go to lunch at our favorite little cafe and maybe get a great deal with all the holiday sales.
Texas Lady: Idiot. I am married to an idiot! If you want to go shopping the weekend after Thanksgiving be my guest, but you'll be going by yourself. I'm not leaving the house that weekend. It's going to be hell out there.
Poor Husband: Alright, I'll get some catalogs together and maybe we can find something online instead. I think it would be easier on us both.

She hangs up. She then says to her friend (who's been in there the whole time listening and the busband didn't know), "I really settled with that one."

Oh yeah, he's handsome, kind hearted, and puts up with your bullshit on a daily basis. You really made a mistake there.