I Should Get A Patent

I've developed a sure-fire way to determine if you're ready to have kids. It's very simple: spend 3 hours with a 10 yr old. Not a toddler, not a baby, not a teenager, a 10 yr old. That's what I did last night and it almost killed me. I wasn't even questioning whether or not I want kids (not even on my mind right now), but last night was further proof that I am not ready for children, not even one, no way no how, not now. I spent 3 hours shopping at a mall with my boss's daughter last night while the man played tennis at the Y nearby. She & I are pretty good buddies. She calls me sometimes to tell me funny jokes or sing me girl scout songs or the most recent horrible local Ford commercial jingle. Bascially, she's my closest friend here in Miami. She's 10 going on 35.

Last night she exhausted me so badly I almost fell asleep in the car on the way home. If we weren't skipping from store to store we were dancing around the racks at the Gap (those sales people hate us and I, personally, think it's hilarious) or trying every tester bottle of various cosmetics at Origins. Oy vey. Sometimes I forget she's really only 10 and I use words she's unfamiliar with. Yes, there really was a time, back in the day, when your vocabulary wasn't what it is now - and how did you manage to learn all those new words? It's funny to remember the times when you heard a new word for the first time and you learned what it meant. Do you remember that happening to you as a kid? I remember learning what "suspicious" meant. I think I used it 20 times an hour - at least. Last night she learned "insanity" and "insane". Everything was insane this or insane that. Oh my goodness, those shoes are so cute it's absolute insanity. Are they insane, how can this be on sale for $15? It went on and on and on and on...

This morning I'm tired. I'm tired and I'm really glad I'm on the pill. Don't get me wrong, I adore that kid, she cracks me up and she's so very smart (and she was a foster kid until 2 years ago when my boss adopted her at age 8, her story is so inspirational that I think about her when I start to bitch and moan about stupid things that irritate me... yeah, like just about everything that I whine about on this blog). But, she tires me out. I do not want kids right now. It's nice to have that concept cemented in my brain, even though I didn't doubt it before. I'm content to play with other peoples' children and hand them back to their parents at the end of the day. Yes, indeed. Especially if I get to keep hanging out with my boss's kid - she's awesome and she makes me want to take a nap.