Update: Bus Woes

Well, I'd like to report that the bus driver and I patched things up over a nice cup of coffee and the morning paper, alas I cannot. This morning he stopped to let a girl on the bus who was late. The bus was stopped in the same spot it was when he almost didn't let me on yesterday... and he let her on no problem. Even said "good morning" to her. We're both in our late 20s (or so it appears), both dressed similarly (the dreaded business casual), seem to have similar dispositions. Differentiating factor: she's black, I'm white. He let her on without a second thought. At first I was very angry, and then I just wanted to cry.

I don't get it. I understand the factors behind racism and long-standing prejudices (say what you will, yes I grew up white in the 'burbs, but I do understand the motives even if not from a first hand perspective), but I don't condone them as excuses or reasons. Is it idealistic of me to feel the way I do? Sure. But the fact remains that I've never been anything but cordial to the bus driver and he's treated me poorly from day one. I wish he was rude to me because I was rude first - that I'd understand. It makes me very sad that he's judged me based on his preconceived notions about people who have my skin color. Does it happen every day to people with brown skin? Absolutely. Have I ever made someone with brown skin feel bad about being brown? No. And so I take it personally when someone makes me feel bad for being my own shade of pinkish beige.