round and round...

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Florida, oh Florida. You make me sad.


I saw this online today: WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. -- A 6-year-old Florida boy who was accidentally left behind by his family after they celebrated his birthday at a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant will temporarily remain in state custody.

As I said in an email to a dear friend, um WHAT?

His response made me laugh so hard I thought I'd shoot coffee out of my nose. He said:

Does Chuck E. Cheese sell liquor? Do they have a shoes/shirt policy? Last time I was in Florida, I witnessed a 300lb. mother at a Winn-Dixie (or was it a Piggly-Wiggly... Either way FUCKING RETARDED) beat the ever-living shit out of her roughly 8 year old son with her jelly shoe. Yes, her JELLY SHOE. The shopping cart was filled with Pop-Tarts and Diet Pepsi. These are the same people that go sport fishing with handguns.

I'm dying. DY-ING.

10 What people are saying:

Blogger krisbtterfly rambles...

i think i got over my jelly-shoe fetish when i was 7.

6/08/2006 09:04:00 AM

 
Blogger Di rambles...

Chuck-E-Cheese used to sell beer. I couldn't stand going near the place. Smelled like a drunk who'd pissed himself.

6/08/2006 09:07:00 AM

 
Blogger Retro Girl rambles...

A Chuck-E-Cheese near Chicago was recently fined for selling alcohol to minors....That's why all those kids piss themselves in that huge bin of colored balls...

6/08/2006 10:00:00 AM

 
Blogger patti_cake rambles...

OH. MY.
That is all.

6/08/2006 11:24:00 AM

 
Blogger Melissa rambles...

I have a very warm, nostalgic feeling about jelly shoes. Just not on the stumps of someone grossly overwieght.

6/08/2006 02:49:00 PM

 
Blogger Bright-Eyes rambles...

I had a jelly PURSE to match my jelly shoes.

Yes...be jealous.

6/08/2006 10:26:00 PM

 
Blogger Melissa rambles...

Bright-Eyes - can't believe we haven't met yet. For real. It's absurd.

6/09/2006 11:57:00 AM

 
Blogger Bright-Eyes rambles...

so it is on. why don't I come to the bk this week for some happy hour fun? Make rover come out and play?

6/10/2006 04:12:00 PM

 
Blogger James Burnett rambles...

As a relative Newbie to Florida, Melissa, I've been studying the "landscape." And I hate to say it, but there are jelly-shoe beaters around every corner. Usually they can't beat too many people with the jelly shoes, 'cause it would take away from kissing their cousins. But civil public behavior is not a top priority for everyone in South Florida.

6/11/2006 12:10:00 AM

 
Blogger James Burnett rambles...

Hey, thanks for stopping by. Good luck with that noise complaint. I filed my share of those back in Milwaukee, before I came south. The concept of "Your music may be nice, but I don't want to hear it now...or ever in my house, necessarily" was never grasped by two of my neighbors.

6/11/2006 12:42:00 AM

 

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