Answers

Here's the question of the day - how do you stop regretting something? I can't seem to push certain things out of my mind and they keep torturing me. I suppose a more apt way to say that is that I keep torturing myself. Always been a bit of a masochist. So, how do I stop it? I've not been successful thus far and I'm getting nervous that this torture is becoming a permanent thing.

The whole strategy of "fake it 'til you make it" has come in handy many a time for me, but for the last few months a pattern has been developing - I'll have a couple days where it seems to work for me. I'll honestly think that I can beat whatever it is that's getting the better of me and I see the bright side. But then, just a few days later I sink back down into defeat and I can't even muster the energy to fake it. It's wearing me down and taking its toll on every aspect of my life.

My relationship with MT is suffering because I can't get my head right. He's a bit afraid that the woman he fell in love with was either a well-crafted facade or she's run off somewhere to hide from the world. Honestly, sometimes I'm not sure which is the real answer - that's both terrifying and disappointing. My friends (caring and wonderful as they are) can only take so much of the grumpy-puss Melissa before they start to get frustrated and annoyed (I can't blame them - who wants to be constantly walking on eggshells around the same person day after day). I'm alienating myself from everyone I love, that's usually a bad sign.

I've got to either get out of my own head long enough to take a deep breath and look at what's outside or I've got to figure out how to make the jumble of my brain make sense. For now I think I'll figure out how to use my new sewing machine. I figure it'll distract me for a minute or so and it might even bring back my creative spark.