Complete

It's done. It's over. It's been over for a long, long time. But the final nail has been ever so brutally hammered into the coffin and now it's really finished for good. I have cut off contact with someone who once meant everything to me - and who still means more than he should. He will always mean more than I want him to. We haven't been lovers in what seems like forever and we cannot ever be friends. We tried. Sometimes things get broken beyond repair. As much as it hurts right now it's comforting to know that "we" were the thing that was broken all along - not me.

I get up in the morning for me now. I breathe for me. I grieve for me. I hurt for me. I laugh for me. I cry for me. I feel everything I feel for me. The grief is mine and I have to deal with it the best way I can.

He's moving here. He's coming to my city. This place was supposed to be ours - but it's mine now and he's finally coming here like he promised he would a year ago. The difference is that I won't see him. I won't know where he is. I'll wonder. I'll wonder more than I want to. But I won't see him. I won't talk to him. This place is mine.

Every day I wake up, I see MT and Duke, I breathe in the Brooklyn air and I am thankful.