round and round...

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Melissa who?

I'm alive. I'm here. Brooklyn hasn't swallowed me whole... yet. Friday was my last day in the office. We're closing at the end of this week for good, and starting tomorrow I'll be working remotely (read: from my living room) indefinitely. You might think that's a really cool thing, something to envy. But, I don't feel that way. In fact, there's not much I'm looking forward to about working from home. Perhaps that will change with time, but right now I'm feeling isolated and alone. It's great that I get to be with Duke all day and that I can do grocery shopping and gym runs in the middle of the day instead of lunch if I want to. My challenges will be to limit the feeling of isolation as much as possible and not to let my work time bleed too far into my real life and blur the boundaries of work and home. I can't allow that to happen and it's going to be a difficult thing to figure out.

All that said, I'm going to do a meme that Kerri tagged me for last month. I've been so busy with the office closure and holiday social engagements that I've hardly been blogging and the meme will at least get my mind flowing. Bear with me.

7 things:

1. I'm messy. I'm a messy, messy person. MT had to ask me for the umpteenth time today to pick up my clothes in the bedroom and that made me feel like a jackass. I don't mean to be a mess, I just am. I'm not dirty, can't stand dirt. But clutter? I'm the queen of it. I'd love to be a minimalist who likes a clean, clear space, but the truth is, I like stuff and I hate picking up after myself. This could be a real problem with the whole home office thing. Most days I've worked from home in the past I've made a huge mess in the kitchen and living room and left myself just enough time to frantically run around and clean it all up before MT got home from work. I think that will change when being at home all day is an everyday occurrence, but I know I'll have to work harder at being neat. Today I cleaned out the closet, put all my clothes away, and sorted laundry for tomorrow. Step 1 went OK.

2. I just used a neti pot for the first time. The afore mentioned cleaning led to some amazing allergic reactions. No matter how clean we are, dust collects in clothes piles and clearing that all from the bedroom sent my sinuses into some major overdrive. If you've got any type of sinus problem (even that awful dryness that happens in the winter with radiator heat) I'd try this out. They're like $10 at a health food store. It's a bit weird to irrigate your sinuses, but it feels so good afterward that you'll be hooked from the first time.

3. MT surprised me with tickets to the Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular last week. It was awesome! The Rockettes are stunning. Seeing them makes me really sad I stopped dance lessons at 14. *le sigh*

4. I'm too judgemental. I get annoyed with strangers very easily. It makes me feel awful, even when the other person is being an idiot and totally warrants some annoyance. Like when someone on the train is clearly taking up 2 seats when they don't need to and there are loads of people standing. Normally I'll silently stew and stare at them without saying anything, sometimes letting out an exasperated sigh. It's so stupid. Now I just ask the person to scoot over with a smile on my face. It's so much easier and takes way less effort than getting pissed in silence. Plus, it allows me to give the person the benefit of the doubt that maybe they just didn't realize how their packages were spilling over into the other seat. Maybe. I'm trying to be a more peaceful person. I'm trying to let my frustration with small things fall away. I'll let you know how it goes.

5. I had a minor breakdown today over the state of my current creative slump and my tendency to allow my job to be a priority over any effort made on my own behalf. I got very angry with myself for not taking the class I wanted to take in the Fall because work was busy. Work will always be busy. There will never be a "right time". I have to start treating myself better. Excuses can kiss my ass.

6. Our networks and systems were all screwed at work on Wednesday afternoon and I knew I'd get super frustrated if I stayed and tried to work (I'd type a sentence and 15 mins later the words would show up on the screen - it was super bad)... so I went to the Manhattan Mall (dicey little mall in midtown) and tried on sparkly, slutty dresses in the cheapo stores for about an hour just for fun. It was hilarious. I looked like a huge, shiny sausage in all of them and I loved it. I had a blast.

7. MT & I have passes to go see an advanced screening of Sweeny Todd next week. SO EXCITED! Johhny Depp in one of the most fabulous musicals ever. It's gonna be the tits!

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5 What people are saying:

Blogger patti_cake rambles...

Ummm I am your cyber twin in messiness. Seriously. It annoys me sometimes but I honestly don't think I can change.
I wish you luck on the work front Melissa. Don't let it get you down. You have so many other things going on in your life that are positive.

12/10/2007 09:40:00 AM

Blogger Sandra rambles...

One of these days I am so doing the Neti Pot, everyone that tries it swears by it.

Ummm, I came by to learn all about your new BFF Amy - how/when/where/why did you meet her, and what was said?

12/10/2007 08:02:00 PM

Blogger The Rover rambles...

I can testify to the greatness of the Neti Pot. I used one my last year in Sleepy Hamlet. Sadly, it's packed away in my parents' basement in da 'burgh. But one day I will rescue it!

If you ever need a coffee break, give me a call!

12/10/2007 11:43:00 PM

Anonymous James B. rambles...

Glad to see you're still blogging. I've been sorta MIA myself the past couple of months.

And I'm with you on the whole stranger annoyance thing. It is a monumental struggle to not lose it over some insensitive or clueless person on the train. You are so right that it's easier to smile and speak up than to quietly fume. I'm still learning though. Sometimes it's easier said than done.

12/11/2007 09:34:00 AM

Blogger Retro Girl rambles...

*Hugs* It is difficult to avoid slipping into that lonely-isolated place, when you're suddenly at home all the time...I know...too well (hence my blubbery post recently lol). You just have to push yourself to keep going out, doing things during the day...

My husband is a clutter-bug...He leaves little piles here and We're always butting heads over it.

12/15/2007 02:28:00 PM


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