Sometimes big girls do cry...

I'm the first one to admit that I cry at the drop of a hat. I cry when I'm happy, sad, excited, depressed, tired, wide awake - you get the picture. I'm a tear factory. Hallmark commercials and sappy movies slay me. That said, I do not cry at work. I'm a professional.

Until today. This is the 5th day of extreme technological issues. Those issues add up to a huge mess that makes it impossible for me to get anything done. My projects are all at a stand-still. I thought things were finally fixed this afternoon but then something else broke. I called my boss and just lost it. I could feel my face getting hot and my eyes getting wet and then the crying started. I explained that nothing is getting done and the client is angry and I'm having a very hard time. She understood everything, told me that none of it is my fault, so I shouldn't feel guilty about it. She said she knows I'm doing everything I can do at the moment and that the client is going to have to understand that sometimes bad things happen that are outside of our control. Even as I type this I'm uncomfortable with the idea that I might not be able to deliver as I should. Why the hell do I get so worked up over this crap? It's not like I'm saving lives! I'm not working on anything earth-shattering, yet I still stress out like crazy. This is beyond a strong work ethic, this is a serious problem I have.

It's too much. It's all too much. I hope the timing is right very soon that I can leave this corporate hell and reduce this ridiculous stress level. If I'm going to stress out about something it should damn well be something I'm doing for me, right? I'd much rather be stressed about my own business and my own deadlines instead of always for someone else. At least this crybaby knows her limits.

P.S. I did go to Etsy Labs last night and it was awesome. It was a real eye-opener.