Side Ball

** Scribbled in my notebook **

I am not a prude. I repeat: I am not a prude.

Just wanted to get that out there. In fact, I'm pretty darn open and typically not embarrassed by subjects of a sexual nature. Nudity doesn't really phase me, it's the human body which is a beautiful thing, so there's no need to be all weird about it. Remember when Ashcroft had the female Justice statue covered in the Great Hall because one breast was exposed? LAME.

PDA doesn't bother me, I think people who love each other should be able to be affectionate in public without being gross (this does not apply to disgusting displays of tongue kissing across the dinner table in a restaurant or to teenagers at the bus stop with groping hands - eww, I don't need to see that). Kisses and sweet displays of affection aren't things that disturb me.

I have no problem with scenes of a sexual nature on television - this is part of life, and if a child is up at 10PM watching 2 people get it on or seeing partial nudity then it's either high time to talk to that kid about sex or time to send them to bed... either way, that's a parental responsibility and the sexual content isn't the thing to blame.

I believe people should be allowed to do whatever they want in their own bedrooms, provided the parties involved are consenting adults. I'm sure some of my bedroom habits would turn heads and I'm perfectly content to leave the government and anyone else who wants to stick their nose in it out in the cold.

So, the question is this: why was I so utterly shocked and freaked out when at the end of the comedy show last night the friend of a friend and his sketch partner came back onstage with no pants on, holding their bits in their hands, thanking everyone for coming and asking us to stick around for the next act? Let me set the scene for you - the sketch was based on 2 guys at a bar. Guy #1 had to pee, they both went to the loo. Guy #1 pees, Guy #2 says, "OK, let's get back out there!". Guy #1 realizes Guy #2 (his best friend) doesn't want to pee in front of him. Hilarity ensues. As a test of their friendship and manliness Guy #1 challenges Guy #2 to go into the stall with him and stand there with their pants off for 5 minutes to show Guy #2 that there's nothing wrong with letting your best friend see you naked. While they're in there someone steals their jeans, which they'd hung over the door. This was all taking place backstage and we were listening to the audio... the guys then emerged at the end of the sketch looking just as they did when they left the stage, but sans pants... and undies, holding their twigs & berries in their hands.

The whole audience erupted in laughter and my friends and I kept looking at each other, eyes wide as dinner plates, not believing these 2 dudes were essentially half naked in front of us. As we were leaving the theatre, my friend turned to me and said, "I don't know about you, but I definitely saw some side ball. I've never seen that much of Gregor before!" Side ball. My new favorite term.