Salmon and gruyere omelette with salad and toast. This is the breakfast my husband made for us this morning. Seriously. He just whipped it up. Sure, times are tough... But when Matthew is such a whiz at using leftovers (fish and salad from dinner) it feels just fine to me. I am a lucky woman.

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He's got an ego now

This morning Duke and I were out for a walk. We turned the corner right near our house and saw a small group of people standing about halfway down the block. As we got closer I noticed that one of them had a clipboard, one was wearing headphones, and one was holding a video camera. They were obviously some sort of film crew.

Then it dawned on me - This Old House is shooting right around the corner from our house and this must be their crew. They were standing across the street from the brownstone townhouse they're renovating for the show. It's the first time they've come to NYC and they chose Brooklyn... in our neighborhood... right around the corner! Just as I realized who they were they turned and saw Duke. Hilarity ensued.

Duke isn't one to blend into a crowd and there was no crowd, so he was bound to be noticed. The cameraman and another crew member immediately started talking to him and asking me what kind of dog he is and how old he is, etc, etc. Both are obvious "dog people" and Duke sensed it right away. There was much petting and rubbing and tail wagging in return. Before we knew it they were asking us if we had a few minutes to help them out with their opening shot for the show.

Watch This Old House on your local PBS station 5 weeks from now (episode 6 in this NYC series) and you'll see the Duke and I walk past the host as he gives the opening blurb about the house and what you'll see in the episode. I'm the blond wearing the black coat (which covered my PJs!!), waddling down the street. Duke is the big, orange dog.

He got so much praise just for walking a few times (several takes) that he pranced home all puffed up and proud of himself. He's been sleeping like a rock ever since, but for a brief moment, his celebrity ego was stroked and he was very lively.

I knew it would come.

Today is the day Barack Hussein Obama became our president. He is everyone's president, not just those of us who voted for him. He represents us all. Hopefully he will continue his record of representing his constituency with dignity and respect.

So that was the good part.

Today is also the day Matthew lost his job. His crazy coked out boss lost it this morning and now Matthew is unemployed. His phone has been ringing off the hook ever since whether it's people from the company calling or clients or vendors. Everyone is concerned and everyone's first question is something along the lines of "What the hell did that asshole do to you?" In my estimation that pretty much sums up the situation.

So right now now he's updating his resume and networking his booty off. We are not defeated. We are not without hope. Today, President Obama took office. How could we be hopeless on a day like today? We'll get through it like the millions of other Americans who have lost their jobs in this craptastic economy. We will find the silver lining in this cloud and we will come through it with smiles on our faces, hand in hand, with a tiny tot in tow in less than 2 months. It's how we roll.

31 & 1/2 weeks

31 & 1/2 weeks. Just about 2 months to go. I can't believe we're this close.

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Tiny baby clothes drying on the shower rod. Does it get any better? I don't think so.

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Can't... Stop... Laughing...

This is Duke this morning. He and I shared some peanut butter toast. The rest is self-explanatory.

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It has come to pass

Well, he got a small portion of what his paycheck should be. So did everyone. A tiny fraction of what they're owed. He got paid pennies and yet he stayed until 9PM the other night and he's been there every day since... and he's not getting paid for it. This is not fun.

To top it all off, this morning we had a screaming fight (so rare, very unsettling) in which I behaved like a deranged child and he reacted to my insanity. Basically I couldn't get into the bathroom in time to take a shower before work and walk the dog before I left. Why not? Because my poor husband was having an unpleasant bathroom experience, if you know what I mean.

So, instead of comforting him and his overworked bowels what did I do? Oh, let's see... I screamed (screamed!) at him because I would have to go to work without a shower (even though my hair looks perfectly fine) and it's the only time all day I get to not feel like a whale and now I would be gross and unwashed all day and feel awful and my day would be ruined. Screamed. Like a banshee. It took him totally off-guard and he yelled back. He left the house in a huff and I cried so hard I barfed in the living room all over the floor and scared Duke.

The whole thing was spectacular. Spectacularly ridiculous! We talked shortly thereafter and I apologized, said I was being a spoiled baby, I didn't mean anything nasty that I said, and I should not have screamed at him like that under any circumstances. This is how wonderful my husband is - are you ready? He said, "I'm sorry, too. Let's write off this morning and move forward. I love you and you're amazing." Huh? I was a complete bitch and I'm amazing? I can't quite express how much I love this man. I acted like a wild beast, I apologized, and he said it's OK, he loves me. Yet another example of how I am the luckiest woman ever, in spite of the crap we're dealing with at the moment.

When it rains...

It's pouring.

My husband will likely lose his job by the end of January. This is mainly due to the fact that his boss is an absolute failure in life and does far too much coke to succeed in anything. Unless a miracle happens my husband will not get his paycheck this week and neither will the 25 people he works with. That includes men who commute from the Bronx to make $12/hr to support their families, a Polish couple who have worked there since they came to this country years ago, hardworking people. His boss's response when asked what these employees are supposed to do without their paychecks was, "They should have a savings and not live paycheck to paycheck." This is precisely how far outside reality this man lives. A savings?

My maternity leave, which I thought was going to be 12 weeks, is actually only 6... at 66% of my pay. This doesn't seem remotely OK to me. 6 weeks? I work for a health and wellness company! A health and wellness company should know that 6 weeks is a joke. I'm not covered under FMLA because I won't have been with my employer for 12 months by the time I take my leave, so I don't have the option of extending my leave to 12 weeks with unpaid time off. I'm trying to finagle the system to get a few more weeks out of it (trying to use all my sick time and vacation time, figure out how I can extend short-term disability somehow, etc.), but it's daunting. Plus, with the prospect of Matthew unemployed it will mean that the dream of getting to stay home with our baby and not go back to work is all but gone.

It's pouring, folks. Cats and dogs.

Absolutely (Un)Remarkable

At different points in my life I have been in the throes of something that has completely floored me and made me contemplate my life in a way that I'd never really considered before. These "somethings" have been small things, big things, medium things. At some point during my revelations related to these somethings I've realized that not only is my life profoundly affected and ultimately altered by this thing that's happening, but also that countless other people are just as profoundly affected by the very same thing but in a way that is totally unique to them.

This seems to make the something itself absolutely (un)remarkable. It's remarkable to me because it's happening to me and it's mine, but it's unremarkable to everyone else because it's happened to so many others and been theirs, as well.

Take, for example, pregnancy. It is at once ultimately personal and intimate while being mundane and typical. This concept amazes me. For me, bringing this child into the world is the most profound thing I have ever done with my life. It changes everything. It makes me undoubtedly a woman and takes me a giant step out of the realm of girlhood. It makes my body a true vessel. It makes me a parent. It makes my husband a father. It joins us together in a way that is more permanent than our marriage.

And yet? It is so very commonplace. It is the most usual thing. Pregnancy is the norm. By this I mean that babies are born every day to women all over the world. These individual miracles and intimate moments instantly become part of the global statistic and the ranks of typical childbirth rates are joined by thousands each day. Remarkable and unremarkable.

This is my latest introspection. What my body is doing right now is nothing short of amazing and nothing more than common all at the same time. I am not doing a single thing that someone else hasn't already done today, this week, this month, this year, this decade, this century, this millennium. And yet it does not diminish my experience in the slightest. I will continue to be awestruck and moved by every moment.

2009

My mom called me this morning. OK, it was this afternoon, but it was morning to me! She wanted to tell me about my horoscope. She said it was only fitting and seemed like a great way to start this new year.

"You were lucky enough to be born with talent. Now you have to be talented enough to find luck. Your artistic goals will be met in the new year because you start taking them seriously right now."

I was struck by 2 things in particular about this.

• 1) It perfectly sums up what I hope to happen for myself in 2009. Of course, becoming a parent is the biggest change that this year brings, but in terms of my own personal development I'd like to concentrate on some creative pursuits that have been languishing too long on the back burner. I believe it's very important to show your children that you have a passion for something (if not many things) and set a good example for artistic expression.
• 2) I was so touched that my mom would read that and want to tell me about it. She knows how important it is to me to feel creative and productive. It really made me feel great that she took the time to call me about it.

What are you looking forward to in 2009?