Mail Call!

Today is the busiest day of the year at the post office. Sure, lots of people rush to get their taxes postmarked by midnight on April 15th, but as far as packages and individual mailings go - the Monday before Christmas is the busiest single day at the USPS. Since I'm well aware of this you'd think I'd have gotten my ass in gear and mailed all my stuff out early. Well, if you think that you don't know me very well. I always have the best intentions of getting to the post office early in the gift sending season to save myself the stress and irritation of waiting in the long lines with the throngs of other postal patrons, many of whom are usually coughing or sneezing due to some sort of flu or cold that I end up coming down with just in time for Christmas Eve. It's the law of the land when it comes to my gift sending. But you know what they say about the best intentions... they're worth two in the hand, or something like that.

In order to make sure the gifts reach their recipients on time, the man took me to the post office before work this morning so I could mail out my stack of packages. Of course we didn't have much in the way of packing supplies at home, so everything had to be boxed up when we got to the PO. It was like tag-team mailing. The man went out in search of newspaper to use as padding inside the box headed for my family's house, as the only box big enough to fit all their individual gifts was so big there was a considerable amount of blank space that needed stuffing. It was only fitting that what he found was a Spanish language newspaper. So appropriate. I think my brother will get a kick out of that. He thinks people in DC speak Spanish a lot... he's in for a real treat when he gets here in a couple weeks.

The line wasn't really that bad and the people were pleasant enough, so all in all my postal experience this morning was just fine. Nothing to complain about, service was good, the lady who helped me was efficient, and the boxes are on their way to my loved ones. Mission accomplished. Plus, it was an added bonus that I got to observe a little of the weird public during my visit. People are strange, this is no surprise, and I think anytime you're in close quarters with strangers they seem even weirder. Sometimes it's creepy, but most of the time it's rather amusing. This morning was no exception.

A man came up behind me while I was packing up my boxes (keep in mind that I was obviously looking like a customer who was boxing up personal items) and started saying something. Since he was behind me, made no effort to alert me to the fact that he was talking to me, and he was speaking Spanish, I didn't turn around. I thought he was talking to someone else. Seemed only logical. How silly of me to assume. Logic be damned. I found out that wasn't the case when he tapped me on the shoulder and asked me if I worked there with a rather sour scowl on his face. Um, no. No, I don't work here. Sorry 'bout that, mister. Clue #1 being that I'm not wearing anything that remotely resembles a postal uniform. Clue #2 being that I'm addressing packages by hand and there are several wrapped gifts scattered in front of me. I think he was having a bad day, because he was grumpier than I usually am. Ouch. How do you say "cranky" in Spanish?

Then there was the guy who was talking the ear off of the man in line ahead of him about random things at an unusually loud volume. "I don't know, I mean, which is worse? Nerd or geek? I don't even know the definition of those words. Haha!" The man turned to me and said, "I can't believe he's having that conversation at that volume." It was ridiculous. The poor man he was talking to responded to about every 15th thing, so the loud man really should have picked up on it. Sheesh. Then he started in about Uncle Sam and how he tried to enlist when he was younger but was turned away because of health problems. Yada yada yada... he wished he could have given service to his country, he loves his country, he knows he'd be surrounded by good men, blah badeee blah blah blah. He was weird. I told the man he's like the guy who would come through my line when I was working at a grocery store and talk to me for 10 minutes about nothing. I'd ring everything up and then he'd try to pay with food stamps. Of course half the things I'd rung up can't be paid for with food stamps and he didn't have any money to pay for them and he'd always say something retarded like, "C'mon, Melissa, can't you make an exception for me? It's me. C'mon..." Uhh, dude, I'm 14. Fourteen. I certainly don't make the food stamp rules so how about you stop being weird and sad and get the things you can get and leave me alone? Or, as K and I love to say, "No, but God bless you."

If you have to go to the post office today I wish you luck and patience. You never know - maybe you'll get a good laugh out of it.