Pardon me, your pants are smoking

Ever want to take people and shake 'em? Grab them by the shoulders and shake them until they start to make sense again? Until they snap out of whatever bad path they're on and take a turn back to reality and friendship and honesty and decency? Until they stop putting up that ridiculous front they've somehow convinced themselves no one can see through? As I told the man and my roommates this weekend - I'm at the shaking point. There are a few people in my life right now who are being less than honest (that is a gross understatement) and I'm fed up.

That friend in NYC who I'm having issues with is really getting to me. There was a lie involved, some inappropriate behavior, some sketchy new habits, and a whole lot of taking advantage of me and people I love. I need to address these things with him, but it's difficult to do from the bottom tip of the country. I'll be back in town tomorrow night, but I won't have the time or energy to have a big discussion when I get in because it will be quite late and I have to be out of the house at the crack of dawn the next day for my interview - a solid night's sleep is imperative (especially with that creative thinking test I have to take). I need and want to talk to him, but it will have to wait. Shake, shake, shake.

The soon to be former-prospective-buyer of our house is a certified fuckwit. Found out that not only has he been M.I.A. since last Monday, but all he needed to do was get the mortgage broker his bank account paperwork and the loan would be his. That's it. Pretty simple, yeah? Should have been. But he doesn't have a bank account. Huh? Anyone else think that's ridiculous? Sure, he's self employed. Sure, he lives mainly on cash and doesn't ever write checks. Sure, he has an unconventional lifestyle. But he should have a bank account like a normal, responsible, middle-aged man. My roommmate in Brooklyn is self-employed, she lives primarily in the cash & carry world, but she has a bank account and a financial planner because she's got her shit together like a good self-employed person should. All it would take is an hour at a bank. It's been a 8 days since anyone's heard from him. He is single-handedly messing up our entire moving timeline. Shake, shake, shake.

My mom is keeping some sort of health issue secret from me. She's not doing well and she refuses to disclose anything. This angers and saddens and frustrates me. Shake, shake, shake.

Someone in DC is pissing me off for a number of reasons, both moral and ethical, and while I don't consider her important enough to address I'm still letting myself get pissed off about it. This woman should stop being a faker and start injecting a little authenticity into her life. I need to let this one go. Shake, shake, shake.

I know it's harder to be honest at first. If you have a habit of polishing your facade but leaving the interior to crumble into a mess it's tough to start that innner cleaning. But once the ball gets rolling it's so much easier to be upfront than it is to be dishonest and lie and be deceitful. When you're honest there aren't any lies to keep track of. There is no "who did I tell what" going on. I try to be honest. It's sometimes easier to put up a front, but in the end it's infinitely better to be honest. So, when I am lied to I get angry. I get angry because I make a conscious decision to be honest with people and when that's not reciprocated I take it personally. Shake, shake, shake.