round and round...

Monday, March 06, 2006

Recurring Theme of My Life

Balance. Yin and yang. Back and forth. Light and dark. Ebb and flow. If only it was as simple to achieve the balance I'm seeking just by following these concise, handy little instructions. Deep breaths, more sleep. Sure, that's all it takes.

This past weekend in New York was great (really) and awful (really). Great because I gave it my all at an interview for a job that I really want (still waiting to hear back from them - I'm so hopeful. I'm sure the good vibes from everyone did me good. Maybe I'll have good news soon.). Great because I got to see my friends again. Great because I love being in that city more than anywhere else. Awful because I had an experience with a friend that essentially killed our relationship. Long story short, he professed his undying love for me and then told me of his impending co-habitation with his new girlfriend who he's not sure he loves... Which basically means I can't spend time with him when I move back. It wouldn't be fair to anyone since I now know his true feelings - not me, not him, not her. So, our friendship is pretty much over and that hurts. It actually hurts more than I anticipated. He's part of my New York (everyone has their own, you know) so when I go back, my version of the city will be missing something.

I'm tired. I feel like a need a break from travelling, but this weekend I'm headed back to New York for an awesome concert that the man got me tickets for (fabulous valentine's present!). It'll be really good to go back, but this is going to be a busy week and I'm having one of those days I just wish I could sleep though. *yawn* I need a nap.

9 What people are saying:

Blogger a fish on a bycicle rambles...

That's a shame, a real shame, it's difficult to ever return to the "before" when something like that happens?

Strange too, something you said clicked, how is it that emotional blows make you feel physically tired?

3/06/2006 04:05:00 PM

Blogger Melissa rambles...

I don't know why, but they sure as hell do, don't they? I'm drained. I mean, it's not like I got nearly enough sleep this weekend, but even so, I am downright exhausted. Mentally, emotionally, physically. I've wanted to sleep all day and I can guarantee that it's mostly because of the emotional roller coaster, not the lack of sleep.

3/06/2006 04:09:00 PM

Blogger The Rover rambles...

I wrote this great post, but then Blogger decided it hates me. So I'll try to summarize:

Why do people pour out their hearts to someone when they're not in a situation where they can truly reciprocate? I mean, if you were single, it's a bit of a different story, but you're in a thing, and he's in a thing...I don't get it.

Anyway, hope that you guys can eventually be cool again, someday.

3/06/2006 04:39:00 PM

Blogger Melissa rambles...

Man, oh man, who knows. I adore this guy, too. That's what's so sucky about it. He's funny and good looking (not to mention he's built like a Greek god, but anyway...) and sweet and smart and completely wrong for me. And he knows that. It's no secret that we'd never work out - even if we were both available - WHICH WE ARE CLEARLY NOT. Basically, I feel like crap, he feels like crap, and he's moving in with a woman he's unsure about. UGH.

3/06/2006 06:53:00 PM

Blogger Lisa rambles...

I really know what you mean, about a person being part of a certain place and that place not being the same without them. It can leave you feeling completely out of sorts even when you know the place so well that you can smell it and see it in every shade of light, even when you've been gone for a long time.

3/06/2006 09:00:00 PM

Blogger Melissa rambles...

Lisa, you just summed it up entirely. And quite beautifully I might add. Welcome.

3/06/2006 09:23:00 PM

Blogger Mindi rambles...

Glad you are coming back to New York this weekend! It is supposed to actually be nice. Novel idea around here.

3/06/2006 10:25:00 PM

Blogger patti_cake rambles...

That really really sucks. I feel sorry for the girl he's moving in with also. I'm sure she has NO idea .... take a nap, evena catnap will do. 20 mins. You'll feel like a million bucks :)

3/07/2006 09:12:00 AM

Blogger krisbtterfly rambles...


3/07/2006 09:45:00 AM


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