SO cool, SO New York... SO not me?

Alright, so my brother gets into town in a few hours. I'm taking him to get Moroccan food for dinner once his bus gets to Chinatown. Fun place on St. Marks. I need to pick up a new nose post while we're there because the tiny pink stone in mine fell out and now it looks like I have an empty metal divot in my nostril. Not funky, not attractive, not cool, not me.

But that brings me to my thought of the evening - I don't think I'm a very cool person to begin with. I mean, I'm dorky and goofy and perfectly aware of that, but those things don't necessarily negate coolness. I should exude cool like I exude sweat - which today is by the bucketful. I just really feel like an uncool kid lately. For instance, I've been thinking about what to do with Ian while he's here since he's 20 and those pesky 3 months separating him from a legal beer prohibit going to the places I usually hang out at night in the city. Well, I heard about this street party going on tomorrow night. It sounds amazing. Very unstructured, but with a plan, very interesting entertainment, drinks but no bar... it's kind of like a rave in the sense that they don't tell you where it's going to be until the day before. Now, I say it's like a rave because that's what I've heard about raves. I was never cool enough to actually go to one. I never got the whole ecstasy/glow stick/trance music thing, but it was cool for quite awhile - and I was never there.

This street party happened for the first time last year and the pictures are amazing. Basically the entire Red Hook waterfront was transformed into a peaceful, artistic, crowded, wonderful backyard party. This year there will be marching brass bands, flame twirlers, drinks (the whole idea is that it's an unpermitted thing, you bring drinks and stuff to share and everyone gets along in this big utopian party atmosphere - surprisingly it actually worked the first time) and a whole host of other delights. It's called One Night Of Fire and people are encouraged to come in flame-themed costume. Play a musical instrument? Well bring it and play for the crowd. Make a killer babaganoush? Whip up a batch and bring it with you. Mix a killer cocktail? Bring a shaker or two full of the stuff and share it. That kind of thing. Isn't that cool? It's cool, right?

Yeah, it's cool and I want to go so badly, but I am so intimidated that I probably won't. It's pathetic that I won't go, but I just know I won't. It's the reason I don't go dancing more often - I LOVE to dance, but I think I'm so uncool on the dance floor that I get intimidated. What the hell are you supposed to do with your arms anyway? This would be an entire night of "I don't know what to do with my arms, or the rest of me, and now I'm thinking about it too much and starting to act awkward, or at least feel awkward even though I'm great at hiding it..." Ugh. I suck sometimes. I get so frustrated with myself. Remember when I posted that quote from Nelson Mandela's inaugural speech about not playing it small because you take away from your own inherent greatness? I'm so sick of playing it small.

I think I'm going to try out that street party. The starting point is 7:57 exactly in the very middle of the Brooklyn Bridge. There will be a tug of war to see if the winners end up toward Manhattan or Brooklyn. Whichever side wins is where the party moves. Either way, the organizers have a plan. That is SO cool. I want that to be SO me. I'm going to try to make it happen. It sounds like something I'd really love, so why should I let my own ridiculousness keep me from it? Besides, it would give Ian some great memories of his weekend in NYC with his big sister.