round and round...

Monday, April 10, 2006

I had to have committed a big booboo

The problem is, I can't seem to figure out what it might have been. I think I'm a generally good person. I'm decent, I have a brain, I don't kick children. I make room for other people on the sidewalk, I don't carry a golf umbrella in the city, I move to the side to let people into the subway car. All of that aside, I had to have done something shitty to be having this kind of month. Karma you know, it all comes back. Take a look at L. Britt for proof of that (but hers is positive proof, not my usual bitch and moan routine).

I'm fully aware that I still have it pretty darn good. I'm an American. I have a roof over my head (at least for the next 2 & 1/2 weeks... oh dear lord help me from losing my mind over this apartment search). I have wonderful friends and family. But you know what? None of that stops me from feeling miserable lately. I know I just need to snap out of it. Easier said than done. Things are getting me down and I'm allowing them to do so. I'm annoyed with myself for that.

I took this picture out the subway window on Saturday. See how it's all nasty and grey and rainy and gross and depressing? It's beyond appropriate. Poor, poor me. Let's all have a pity party for Melissa. I hate feeling pathetic - so why can't I just stop? Convince myself everything will be fine and life is grand and full of light?

13 What people are saying:

Anonymous Anonymous rambles...

*rach kicks karma in the shin*
Take THAT M's karma!!!!!!

Do something randomly wonderful tomorrow. Maybe it will help? If not make you feel a little better. & I am sending good apt vines b/c I'll need them in 6 months, myself!

4/10/2006 11:35:00 PM

Blogger Melissa rambles...

Yet again, Rach steps in and drops a pearl of wisdom right into my lap. You're brilliant - something randomly wonderful is exactly what I need to do tomorrow. I'll let you know what it ends up being.

4/10/2006 11:41:00 PM

Blogger The Rover rambles...

Shitty weather doesn't help. You need one of those glorious spring days in New York - the ones where you run into a store and buy ice cream, 'cause it's so nice outside. That will make you feel better. Rach's suggestion is a good one.

And apartments are like dating - just when you've given up, something magically appears.

4/11/2006 01:12:00 AM

Blogger Pam rambles...

It is difficult to break a cycle of sad - and I'm a big believer in honoring ALL feelings - but I also have great belief in Like attracting Like, so...honor your sadness and remember the natural joy in your spirit.

4/11/2006 01:39:00 AM

Blogger krisbtterfly rambles...

do something randomly wonderful (as Rach suggests), and then make sure you have a little ice cream sundae. oh, and write me a letter. i want a letter. i also think that you should turn up some Kylie in your room and dance naked. and you should also go out, buy a lime green 3-ring binder and some sheet-protectors and put your very first invoice in it. and if you have a booger, pick it. don't worry about what other people think. same goes for wedgies and nermals. and make sure you stop by that little store next to your subway stop where everyone knows you so they can cheer you up a bit. :) *kiss*

4/11/2006 09:11:00 AM

Blogger patti_cake rambles...

Things go up and down in our lives. Look at it this way, you have to feel down sometimes to fully enjoy the UP times. Okay now I feel like a cliche' quoting asshole. Sorry.

4/11/2006 09:52:00 AM

Blogger Bright-Eyes rambles...

And today is that glorious day!!!!

Not to mention Klance gets to town soon, how fun will that be?

I will try to keep my ears open for apts. I am doing that for klance also. People here in school are all looking for apts and so there is info flying around. You trying to stay in Bk??

4/11/2006 01:19:00 PM

Blogger Di rambles...

I vote for the naked dancing! :) And sunshine. The sun always makes it all seem better.

4/11/2006 05:42:00 PM

Blogger L. Britt rambles...

You need to call me and we need to hang out! That will definitely make you feel better. You can hang out with Ella...I know I am biased, but she makes me laugh out loud. Laughing out loud makes you feel better. We should go running. Exercise makes you feel better. I've got gossipy stories to tell you. Gossip most definitely makes you feel better.

4/11/2006 08:49:00 PM

Blogger Jess rambles...

MEL!!!! I love you honey and I miss you so much! Things will be ok, I promise. I am so sorry I have not been in touch, I am updating my blog today- I know, it's been a while...


4/12/2006 11:00:00 AM

Blogger a fish on a bycicle rambles...

I love that photo, it's full of joy and hope and, well, steel beams.....

Have you tried one of those, what'd'ya'callums....oh, bugger...pregnancy test kits, no that's not it, erm, piss up!! that's it a bender with friends?

4/12/2006 12:18:00 PM

Blogger Mindi rambles...

It is so hard to not be cliche but I think that you have to go through the feelings of doubt and unhappiness to get to the other side.

Embrace the pity party and then do what you can to get to the other side.

4/12/2006 04:13:00 PM

Anonymous Beebs rambles...

I need to email you. I have apt emails from my friends. Please get my email from L- Britt.

4/14/2006 04:53:00 PM


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