round and round...

Monday, December 11, 2006

Most Unlikely Thing Uttered This Weekend

**WARNING: this post is of an adult nature, if you think you may be offended you probably shouldn't read it. If you want a good laugh, then read on, my friend!

"Wow, you just tried to pick us up... in a dildo store. Hmm. That's a new one."

Yep. Kristie said that to the guy who asked if he could take us for a drink while we were standing at the counter at a store in the West Village that sells, well, ahem, they sell various intimate relations wares. So, we're standing there in the sex toy shop and the guy walks up, is obviously a little taken aback at the sight of two pretty cute chicks shopping together for what I'm sure he thought were playthings we were going to use on each other... not the case, but more power to him for his teensy weensy fantasy. The guy then proceeds to make pathetic small talk - in the sex toy shop - and says, "So, what are you girls in here for?"

OK, now I understand that it was probably difficult to overcome the awkward moment just before he struck up the conversation with us - in the sex toy shop. However, I don't understand what ever gave him the indication that asking that ridiculous question was a good thing to do in the moment immediately following the awkward one just before it.

I responded the only way I knew how, "Um, really? OK, vibrating cock rings. Yeah." He went white as a ghost. Hilarious. Listen man, you ask a question like that you better be prepared for the answer. I mean, c'mon! You gotta know your audience, buddy. You'd think that would have stunned him into silence, but noooooo no no, it only got better.

He asked if he could take us for a drink. He did. He asked. And then Kristie followed up with the zinger at the top of the post. Completely straight-faced and everything. It couldn't have been more perfect.

That about sums up my weekend. It was filled with all sorts of other fun and interesting things, but that was by far the crowning cherry on top of the proverbial sundae.

The funniest things happen when that girl is in town. It's awesome. She's the best.

5 What people are saying:

Blogger James Burnett rambles...

Damn! I'm not sure whether that guy deserves a trophy for ballsiness, or should be kicked in the ass for stupidest attempt at a pickup.

"So what are you girls in here for?"

Hmmm. Buying groceries.

This guy gives the lost art of pickup lines a bad name.

12/12/2006 01:32:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous rambles...

well, i guess you could count edible undies as groceries... although i'm not sure that they have any nutritional value. man. and the nosebleed on the subway was awesome. if only i had started hollering and yelling at any guy standing next to me about him punching me in the face, that would've been CLASSIC.
ahhh... cupcakes.

12/12/2006 10:21:00 AM

Blogger Jennifer rambles...

Hilarious. Simply hilarious.

12/12/2006 06:32:00 PM

Blogger Retro Girl rambles...

*Laughing myself silly* OMG What a the responses you two gave him.

Can a man get any more pathetic? LOL

12/18/2006 10:09:00 PM

Blogger Sandra rambles...

Intimate relations wares - that is priceless!

"What are you girls in here for?"
"We wore out our strap-on."

He'd have still asked you for drinks though.

12/22/2006 04:28:00 PM


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