Inspiration

This is my friend, Marisa. She is amazing. (and adorable, I mean, look at that headshot!)

If you have lost a parent, or you have a friend who has, please take a moment to read this short blog entry (on Glamour.com, yes - she's a superstar) and pass along Sally's Circle to someone who could use a soft spot to land this holiday season.

23 weeks. Excuse me, have you seen my toes?

23 weeks. Awesome is huge!

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It was an accident, mama... another one

Duke's new $200 bandage. He jumped into a pile of leaves onto something sharp and now he's got a fab purple leg warmer and some antibiotics. Matches the $300 wrap and meds he got on his back leg a few months ago. Ah, Duke. He doesn't seem to mind. It doesn't interfere with nap time.

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Snark Alert

The word is r-i-d-i-c-u-l-o-u-s. Not r-E-diculous.

There is no such word as "supposebly".

"Irregardless" isn't even close.

Can we please finish the chapter on "orientated"? C'mon! How hard is it to get oriented? Apparently it's so hard some people feel the need to add a syllable.

Educated, professional people who make far more money than I do should know these things. They just should. That's how the world should work. There are simple rules that the universe should follow. Higher-ups being even remotely capable of using the English language correctly is one of those rules. Case closed.

Talk is sometimes more than cheap

If you've been coming here for awhile, or even if you're new to my world, chances are you know I'm a big sap. I cry a lot. I cry when the wind blows, when I'm sick, when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm overwhelmed, when I'm hurt, when I see touching commercials on TV (damn you, Walmart at Christmastime!).

It's no surprise that I cry a lot lately. This kidlet cooking in my insides makes for a pretty fascinating hormonal ride. I'm up, I'm down, I'm up even higher, I'm down even lower. Luckily, as soon as I passed the 15 week mark I started ending up on the high notes and not on the low ones. The first 15 weeks were tough. Tough is an understatement.

"Tough" is one of those words you use when people ask you how you're doing and you don't want to say, "I've never experienced this kind of crushing, all-consuming depression before and I'm terrified that it will never go away." You don't want to say that to people because it's scary. It's scary for them to hear and it's scary for you to say because then you're acknowledging it. It becomes too real.

I've read a couple medical studies done with pregnant women in different parts of the world and they've found that perinatal (during pregnancy) depression is as common, if not more common, than postpartum (after birth) depression. Postpartum depression (PPD) has been getting more media attention in the past handful of years since more women have been willing to be open about how they're feeling rather than hide their extreme emotions out of shame. The attention is good, but there also needs to be a discussion in the medical and mental health communities about perinatal depression. It's a real thing. I've been there.

For the first 15 weeks of my pregnancy I didn't want to get out of bed in the morning, let alone see friends or family, go to work, interact with people. I didn't want to have a conversation with anyone because I felt that the only thing anyone ever asked me about was the baby. It's understandable, but it made me feel like I was disappearing. I felt as if Melissa was invisible and some strange incubator had taken her place. My identity was very shaky and malleable and the ground felt uneven under my feet all the time. Matthew saw it all first hand and he was amazing. He was nothing but supportive. I can't imagine having gone through that without him. Single women and even women in relationships with less than supportive partners have to endure their pain in silence, alone, without a support network. Something about that needs to change.

I've joined a support group in Brooklyn for PPD and perinatal depression and hope that it grows into something where I can volunteer to help other women who are going through what I went through. I'm monitoring my emotional and mental health on a daily basis and I'm listening to what my brain tells me. Once the baby comes it's that very monitoring that will let me know if I'm one of the millions of women across the world who suffers from PPD. Catching it early is important. If you know someone who has suffered from perinatal depression or PPD don't be afraid to talk to them about it. The more we talk about it, the less monstrous it becomes.

What am I doing?

Look at this face. We're going to meet her in the next few days. She's about 6 years old, 55lb. lab mix, spent all of her life until this summer in a parking lot. She's being fostered by someone who can't keep her any longer...

So Matthew and I are taking Duke to go meet her soon. If it works out between her and Duke we'll at least foster her for awhile. As I type this I am fully aware that if she and Duke get along and she moves in here for a planned short period of time we will never let her go. I think we are getting in a little over our heads... and yet I can't stop it. What am I thinking? 140 lbs of dog and a baby! How will I handle that? Ah well, when it rains it pours. This pooch needs a home and if we can give it to her that's what we'll have to do.

Brooklyn is Obama country

Another great video from my neighbor - footage of the celebrations in the street last night. This was one block over from my house. It was amazing! My friend and I ran out into the street as soon as NBC called the election for Obama and people were flooding out of their homes, dancing, cheering, banging pots and pans. Cars driving by honked their horns and we could hear cheers all across the neighborhood.

I have hope...

Hope that we can once again be the admirable nation I recall from my childhood. Naivete? I don't believe so. I believe it's real. With this man at the helm I believe it's possible and it's coming.

Welcome to my neighborhood

This is a video taken by my neighbor this morning at 6:30. He walked the length of the line to get into our polling place (only 2 blocks from my house). It was so cool to see so many people I recognize from the neighborhood all waiting together so early in the morning.

Matthew and I lucked out - we went at 6:10PM and there was no line at all. We walked in and walked right out. Pretty amazing! We would have been glad to wait this morning, but he had to get to work and we knew it would take more than an hour. We rolled the dice and took our chances with an evening vote instead. It paid off!

I love this video because even that early in the morning and with a line that long no one seemed upset or peeved, everyone just seemed happy to be voting.

Duke voted.

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TODAY IS WORTH THE WAIT

There was a 2 hour wait at my polling place at 6AM. Everyone had smiles on their faces. That is a very telling sign in my book.


















*"borrowed" from Lynilu*

the destroyed bone

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Destruction

This video is dark, sorry for the poor quality. I just had to try to capture Duke destroying his new toy. This is a dog who never, ever - no matter how hard we tried - showed any interest in toys whatsoever.

That is, until we got a bag of baby things from my in-laws' neighbor. In that bag was a stuffed horse. Duke sniffed the bag, looked at us, saw that we weren't stopping him, reached his face into the bag and pulled out the horse. He carried that thing around the house for weeks... and then he destroyed it. He started chewing on it. That turned into stomping on it. That turned into tossing it up in the air and chasing it around the room. That turned into shaking it into submission. It finally ended in pulling out every last bit of stuffing.

Since his beloved horsie was dead we decided to get him a new stuffed toy the other day. His "bone" (a stuffed dog bone that says "KOSHER") lasted all of 2 days. He killed it. This video is part of the destruction caught on tape.

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21 weeks

21 weeks. Baby is growing. So am I. Luckily, so far it's all in the boobs and belly.

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A slice of pumpkin pie. We made it from a real pumpkin. It's crazy good. Fresh whipped cream takes it to a whole other level. Insane.

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