Brief Update - We're Fine

This is where Katrina nibbled on the house. She likes roof eaves, apparently. Lucky for us the worst of it wasn't nearly as bad as what the poor folks further south in Florida and coastal Lousiana and Mississippi are dealing with now, but she still left us with some clean up and a few headaches.

Duke thinks the pile of branches from the backyard is ugly. I think it's not as ugly as the car behind it on the other side of the street. No, we don't live in the ghetto, nu-uh.

Katrina likes windows. She took this one as a souvenir off the back of our house. The man went out late Thursday night to see what the damage was (while the storm was wailing out there, mind you) and tried to move the window pane from the patio to the garage so it wouldn't get swept away, but it was raining pretty hard and, well, rain + glass = slippery. Window broke, he said "oh well", I laughed.

Duke. Not really anything to do with the hurricane, but he's cute and it looks like he's making a lame attempt to appear stern and imposing. As if to say, "Try that again, bitch. Next time I'll bite you in the ass instead of trembling and looking pathetic inside." If he could have crawled under the couch he would have.

All in all we were very lucky. We can replace the eaves and the window, we hauled the branches out of the backyard and raked up all the debris that was strewn about, we mopped up the water that came in the front door (that's how hard it was raining and that's how hard 75 mph winds push), we dealt with no cable/internet/phone for 5 days. We never lost power for more than a few minutes and neither of us were hurt. Our house wasn't flooded out like many people just south of here. We didn't have to try to sleep through hot sticky nights with no A/C like all the poor folks who lost power. We didn't have to throw away a whole refrigerator of spoiled food because there was no electrcity. We weathered the storm and now we just hope that the people in MS and LA can recover as best as possible.

I'm off to make the comfort food of all comfort foods - homemade crunch wrap supremes. Just like Taco Bell only way friggin' better. I'll write more when my brain is functioning at a slightly higher level.

Katrina the hell bitch update

Morning Hurricane Watch -

6:15 AM got call that there is no work today or tomorrow
8:00 AM winds started picking up
10:05 AM rain started
10:06 AM I'm going to make some eggs & toast
11:09 AM eggs & toast were yummy, rain still coming down, Katrina officially category 1 hurricane
11:10 AM my girlfriend K is the best friend a girl could have and I'm immensely proud of her (nothing to do w/Katrina, but hey, it's my blog after all)
2:24 PM still raining, still windy, contemplating lunch... can't decide btwn pb&j and mac & cheese. healthy food, what's that?
9:04 PM rain is heavy, winds are strong, water coming in front door a bit, power flickering, I beat the man's ass at Scrabble (in other words, all is well). Made home-made crunch wrap supremes for dinner - ooh, they're goooood

Oh, Katrina... you bitch

We're in hurricane season here in South Florida and people are in a general state of frenzy. I think this is the most animated I've seen folks since moving here. People who live on the outlying beaches and barrier islands are boarding up their houses and those who live in mobile homes are evacuating all in preparation for Katrina. The one, the only, Katrina the hell bitch hurricane. That's her full name, but they don't tell you that on the news.

Since people here are usually so laid back/lazy/oblivious it's reassuring in a sick kind of way to see them getting ready for something that has the power to make their lives suck for a few days. I haven't seen the guys who sit in their lawn chairs outside their chain link fence all day for the past day or two. Maybe they're at Home Depot stocking up on plywood and generators. Maybe they're inside getting drunk on Maddog 20-20 and gambling away their last dime. I'd like to think they're taking the Home Depot option.

No work for me today or tomorrow with the hurricane a-comin', so I guess that's a lot of time to do dishes and sew. Not at the same time, preferrably.

A whole week w/o blogging...

I can't believe it's been that long. The end of last week was hectic with the job and all (worked the part time gig and then worked Friday at a potential full time gig), then the weekend came and I was busy with normal weekend stuff, and then the beginning of this week was hectic with the job and all (landed full time gig - yay!), and then yesterday didn't have internet connection at home because the modem mysteriously broke and the connection point was kaput. So, it's now been a week, I have a full time job and the man got a new modem today so we're back in business.

I was talking to some friends today about how the job is going (so far I really like it, it's design work in its most basic terms, but it's a lot of fun for me) and the clothing/temperature factor came up. You know what the clothing/temperature factor is. It's that law of nature that says no matter what you wear you will be innappropriately dressed for the temperature of your office once you arrive. There is a natural sublaw that states no matter the office temperature yesterday, you cannot plan for the office temperature today - they will invariably be different enough that any accommodation made in the clothing department will be for naught. Most days so far in the new office it's been painfully cold. I'm a fan of air conditioning, but they take it to a whole new level. I've been finding all sorts of fun ways to be uncomfortable.

Let's see... Day 1: interview - nipple ring highly visible through shirt because bra is thin as parchment and shirt is white & fitted and this office is like a meat locker. No problem in normal temperature zones, but in office environment major malfunctions are apparent.

Day 2: training & testing, trying to get the job - everything is fine, but felt way uncomfortable because the shoes did not go with the outfit at all and I can't afford to go buy new ones just yet.

Day 3: testing some more, meet the bigwigs - outfit was cute, felt good, but was borderline nipping out all day, despite the lined over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder. Luckily, although frozen and sweaty at the same time (how does that happen???) I land the gig.

Day 4: I waltz in like I own the place, looking cute, with my zipper down (oh yes, yes it was) and wearing black leather sandals that I hope no one will notice are actually just semi-dressy (not really) Target flip flops because as previously stated, I have no shoes. Now the camisole and shirt I have over it are practically cut clean-through from the sharp, frozen nips beneath.

Lucky for me there are only 2 more work days this week, as I'm running out of ways to artfully cover my nipples/feet/crotch with other body parts/desks/folders as needed.


Ugh of the day - the man is in a rotten mood and I don't know why. He says it's not me, but he's making no attempt to seem believable.

Oh, and there's a hurricane coming. School is already cancelled for the next 2 days. I might not have to go to work if it gets bad. Which would suck, since I get paid by the hour.

Wednesday... and people here still suck ass

People here still annoy me. They're really starting to annoy the man, too. I told him tonight that I was very sorry if I had negatively influenced his opinion of Miami. He assured me that his feelings about this city have nothing to do with my attitude toward it, which was really nice to hear. I was afraid that my nasty side had gotten out and polluted him. That would be bad. The sad part is that we both agree that it's not the city itself, it's the people - seriously folks. The people here are unlike any people I've ever been around - and I've been around. There's no good way to describe it unless you've been here before and you can relate.

Good news - the man sold the truck today. Not my Jeep, but the other one that was going to be a money pit. So, that's gone and it's a good thing. Whew!

Another good thing - I have an interview on Friday for a job that I'm basically sure to get as long as I don't fuck it up. Fingers crossed for that one. It's a full time gig doing relatively easy work for very decent money. Money that's the same as what I made in NYC, which is fantastic since we're starting to loathe our neighborhood and want to get out in the relatively near future and maybe buy something else somewhere else. Every night there's another story about a hit & run, which sounds quite awful and shocking... until you realize that there are scores of people who wander out into the street right into traffic, undoubtedly wearing all black and looking stoned or drunk or mildly retarded or all of the above. Duh, people. Duh. Of course you get hit by a car in the middle of the pitch black night when you walk into oncoming traffic wearing nary a stitch of remotely visible clothing. Do I sound jaded and unsympathetic? I do? Awesome. That's just what I'm going for.

Tomorrow is Thursday. Thursday is the end of my part time work week. Which means that tomorrow night I will spend a solid hour or two learning the ins and outs of this software package that I'm supposed to know for the job on Friday. Wish me luck. Microsoft isn't very cool. Again, I say duh.

Check out the post right before this one if you haven't already. A good friend is doing a good thing and it would be great if maybe you could help out.

Peace & chicken grease.

MS Walk - GREAT CAUSE, care to help?

My friend, Jess, is doing something very cool next month - she's doing the 3-Day Challenge Walk to benefit the National Muscular Sclerosis Society. She's a great woman and this is a great cause. If you can stop by the site below (you can just click the title to this post to get there) you can follow these simple directions to make a donation - large or small it all helps. If you have $5 or $50 or $500 it all goes to the fight against this devastating disease. Jess has a huge heart and I'd like very much if she had a huge batch of donations to boost her spirits along this long walk.

www.msandyou.org

Click on "Click here to donate online" (top right of your screen)

Fill out the form that pops up

Under "Gift Information" hit the drop down button and select "Three day Challenge Walk contribution"

In the box underneath, where it says "Name of Honoree/Participant/Team Member" put Jessica Ferrence

Check the box underneath that that says "Check this box to send an email to the participant you sponsored"

Underneath that, type jeferrence@hotmail.com. That way Jess will be notified of a donation and the amount so she can keep track of the monies. Then just go ahead and fill out the rest of the information required.


It's that easy. If you'd rather send Jess a check, just click the "email me" link on the right side of this blog and I'll send you her contact info. Jess and I both thank you.

Heckle and bark, heckle and bark

I like a lot about Miami. That's my disclaimer. Now on to the rest of it:

Unfortunately the list of things that I don't like about Miami is growing. It's growing by leaps and bounds every day. I try to reconcile myself to the fact that we live in a neighborhood that's rough around the edges and we're "urban pioneers" of some sort, but that doesn't make it much easier to deal with the idiot factor here. It's way high. It's disproportionately high. For example, today the list grew quite a lot based solely on my experience walking to and from the metrorail. I learned that dogs are not the only beings on this planet who bark. Oh no. People bark, too. Well, some people do. The man driving the Lance delivery truck (you know, the chips & crackers people) slowed down to almost a stop, leaned his sweaty body out the open door and barked... at me. Yes, ladies and gents, I was barked at.

Then there was the road crew who yelled obscenities at me when I didn't respond to their calls of "Hey, mamacita" and "Yo, mami, where you been at". I ignored them and kept walking, but one stepped out into the street and began to follow me. If you want to say something, fine. If you want to yell at me, fine. If you want to make as much of an idiot of your pathetic self as you possibly can, fine. But DO NOT act as if you might go beyond words. DO NOT act as if you might harm me in any physical way. DO NOT make me think for one second that I am in danger. That is not cool. That crosses the line. So, I turned and screamed "BACK THE FUCK OFF" to stun him and make him do just that. Not that I really think he would have done anything, but there's being an annoying bother on the way to the train and then there's being a possibly dangerous asshole who makes me afraid for my safety. There was a rather large black man across the street and down the block a bit who heard my yelling. He turned and walked toward us asking if I was alright and then yelled at the guy to leave me alone. It was very cool of him. He pretty much made up for the rest of the douchebags along the way.

Then, on my way home from the train after work, there was a guy riding his bike around the driveway of the train station. Why he was riding his bike around the driveway I'll never know. But, he was shirtless and wearing an orange safety vest. Why? Again, I don't know. All I know is that I was on the phone with K and he rode up next to me, slowed down, and proceeded to talk at me. Not to me, as you see - I was on the phone. "You leeeve aroun heeer?" Um, yeah, OK. I'm going to tell you where I live. You can hardly speak a recognizable language and you're shirtless... on a bike. Sure, come on over, meet my boyfriend. Maybe we can all get drunk and go baby oil wrestling in the bathtub. Grrrr. Right. WAKE UP, BOZO. Welcome to reality.

And another thing for the hecklers - stop acting like you've never seen a white girl before. We're a dime a dozen, albeit on the other side of the Blvd. I'm white, I have blonde hair, I'm kind of cute, I'm well-read and educated, I could rock your world... but never ever will. Now get the hell over it.

Let me revise my previous statement - it's not Miami that irks me. It's some of the people in Miami who irk me. Lucky for me the man is here in Miami. He and Duke make the hassles worth it. ...And then some.

I'm sure you're not green with envy

This blog is now infinitely more green than I care to acknowledge. I've been re-writing the html in the template for an hour and each time I say to myself, "Self, now would be a good time to stop because you are obviously making extremely poor color and format choices," I end up ignoring that voice and chugging along with the insanity. Anyway, sorry it's so ugly. I don't have the energy now to look at html tags for one more second. The greenery will have to do for now. Oy vey.

On to lighter and brighter (and hotter) subjects... the man and I took a drive down past Key Largo today. We thought it would be nice to take a semi-local road trip and get out and walk around a few cute, little beach towns. The weather was beautiful (albeit scorchingly hot) for a drive and it would be a fun thing to do together that required very minimal cash, which is good because that's just how much cash we have. Packed up the cooler with ginger ale and some nectarines and we were off. We drove for a couple of hours and then realized that there really aren't any cute little beach towns until you get the whole way down to Key West - which we weren't going to see because it was another hour and a half from where we decided to turn around. So, we got down past Islamorada and flipped a bitch to head back north. Along the way noticed that the scenery went from urban (where we started - our neighborhood) to suburban (the nice, wealthy areas just south of Miami proper - lots of new stores and malls... malls!), to not so nice suburban (old stores, smaller buildings with painted-on signs, definitely no malls, lots of folks on bikes - I fully realize that people on bikes does not equate to not so nice neighborhoods, it's just a Miami thing, you have to see it to understand it. I'm not talking physically fit people or environmentally conscious people, I'm talking shirtless, jobless, socially repressed people), to desolate, to farmland (lots of citrus groves, very cool to see), to desolate again, to fishing village, to rich fishing village, to "sport fishing capital of the world" as the sign in Islamorada told us. Or was it Tavernier?

It was an interesting progression to watch. It's strange that you can basically track the money. You can see it ebb and flow like the tide just outside your car window as you drive south from Miami. In the city itself the money isn't that abundant. But, head south just a bit and it's everywhere. The malls, the car dealerships, the new buildings all around, and the abundance of white people - no, really - sometimes you can tell where the money is by where the white folk are. Just not the two white folk who live here. Ahem. Whatever... so, you see the money just south, then you leave the Miami metro area and the money backs off again. Don't know where it went, but it certainly wasn't sitting right outside the car like it was all through Coral Gables. Then you hit the farmland and the money is there in the form of the crops and the citrus on the trees, but not in the form of development and certainly not in the hands of the farmers themselves (don't get me started on the small family farmer and how corporate farms are pushing them out to a slow, cold death, that's another post...). You get to the fishing villages and there's a little money there, but you have to get closer to the Keys for it to really well up around you. The boats get bigger, the homes get more extravagant, and the money practically sticks it's tongue out at you as you drive through. You should have seen some of the boats down there. They're beautiful. Maybe some day I'll vacation there. For now, a day trip suits me just fine.

Advertising - Pubes Sell

Have we really lost this much edge? Has society become so dull and lifeless that we rely on overtly strange advertising to spice things up? Take a look at this ad. (You might want to click it to get the full effect.) The man and I affectionately refer to it as the "Dolce & Pubana" ad. Notice the guy in the foreground. His couture jeans with their leather and stud embellishments... That's not strange. That's not out of the ordinary. Take a slow glance up his leg, work from his shiny shoe up the denim and leather pantleg, past the wallet chain... right to the pubes. Oh yeah, those are pubes.

The dude has his man-bush out there for all to see. I am not a prude. But, this seems weird to me. It just does. Now take a gander at the guy on the left side of the page. Same sultry you-know-you-want-to-lick-this expression. More importantly - matching pubes. His forest is not nearly as dense as the other guy's, but he's sporting some definite fur.

I totally understand the shirtless thing. They're young (well, except for the guy in the back who's just sort of looking out from behind the younger guys in a creepy pedophile-esque sort of way), they have nice bods, both men and women find them attractive. That's effective marketing. I get the rest of it, too - the ripped up jeans thing is hot, the wallet chains are tough and pseudo biker-ish, the mirrored room is a bit voyeuristic, and the hint of buttcrack you see reflected in the back wall is nice. But the pubes? The pubes I just don't get. Give me some tits & ass and I will buy your product. Give me hot, shirtless men and I will buy your product. Give me something that most people try to have less of and I'll just be reminded of those fun times when it gets stuck in my teeth - you know you've been there, c'mon.

I need a nap and some advice

Today I determined that my ass cannot be subjected to the extended periods of sitting that have become my normal Monday - Thursday routine. Oww. 5 hours a day for 4 days sitting in a chair at a computer makes for one sore tuchus. I think I'll have to start taking breaks to walk around the block a few times a shift. Seriously, my buttcheeks are sore. This is nuts.

I'm sleepy today. It could be because I've been sleeping badly since the man has been away and waking up before dawn. I think I'm going to take a little nap and then do some dishes before I go pick him up at the airport tonight. 4 & 1/2 hours left...

One quick rant before my lovely late afternoon/early evening snooze (well, an expansion on a previously mentioned rant): this wedding that I've been ambushed into - I don't know how to respond. The bride to be emailed me, along with 6 other girls, and said here's the dress I picked out for you to wear to the wedding. She gave the website with a picture of the dress and referred to us all as bridesmaids, but the thing is that she and I haven't had the conversation where she asks me to be in the wedding yet. Instead, she sends me an email and assumes I'll be down with being in her ceremony? Umm... that's not right. I don't feel comfortable because she & I aren't as close as we used to be (we were a lot closer before she flipped out on me when I called off the wedding I was supposed to have a year & 1/2 ago saying things like "You obviously don't know how this has affected me". Yeah, alright, I just called off my own wedding and I'm supposed to be concerned with how you're feeling - folks, this was the day I called it off, we're not talking weeks down the line. Then she proceeded to beef up the loose friendship she had with my ex and started inviting him to Sunday dinner at her parents' house, I'm not lying. I wouldn't be surprised if they bumped uglies a couple of times), I don't have the money to buy this ugly dress (I'd look like a midget Barbie in it, I swear), and if she had asked me on the phone or in person I don't know that I would have said yes - I really don't. Now I don't know how to respond to her. I'm not sure I want to decline altogether, which would surely be the end of our friendship (as pathetic as that is, it's the truth), but I also don't want to go along with this little game she's playing and not let her know that it's wildly inappropriate that she spring this on me like this. Any suggestions?

Eggs instead

I had eggs & toast instead. Mmm, toast. Apricot jam is tasty.

13 hours until I pick the man up from the airport. I can't wait to see him.

There is something very wrong with me

I woke up this morning (quite early, too) craving a crunch wrap supreme from Taco Bell. That's just not right. Have you had one of these things? If not, do yourself a solid and pencil in a run to TB for lunch today. Why am I obsessed with this fast food item? This embodiment of all things cheesy and chewy and crunchy and pseudo-Mexican... it makes me drool. It's got nacho cheese on it for Pete's sake!!! That stuff is like cryptonite. I'm drawn to it, though I know it will be my downfall. It's 7:33am. I'm going to have a bowl of cereal, which I'll be wholly unsatisfied with, I'm sure.

Too pooped to party

This is how I feel today. (BTW, this picture does me no justice... I'm not this massive, and my pants aren't the size of a Zepplin, they just appear that way) I'm just kind of zapped. Energy level is low, enthusiasm is in serious need of a refill, and I'm generally having the blahs. I'm sure it will pass, as soon as some of the issues in my life are cleared up to some extent, but until then it feels like poo on a stick.

I'm worried about Duke. He's not himself today. He's still not putting weight on his back leg and he's lethargic. When I got home this afternoon he was lying in his crate - he very rarely does that, and it's usually when he knows he's done something wrong. He didn't get up to greet me at the door, which is also odd. He was happy to see me, I could tell from the tail wagging and the licks I got when I bent down to him, but for him not to get up is a big deal. He also seems really thirsty. I give him some water and it's like he can't get enough of the stuff. I've been making sure that he's got a full bowl to help keep him hydrated, but I'm getting nervous that maybe he's eaten some insecticide or something. Luckily he's scheduled at the vet for Friday morning. I hope he's OK. It's not anything that seems like an emergency, but I don't like not knowing what's wrong with him.

I got the form notarized this morning to get the bank working on the investigation they need to do in order to put the money back into my account from the fraudulent transactions that posted over the weekend. FYI - Bank of America in Miami isn't the most helpful. I went there this morning to get the affidavit notarized and was told that they only offer that service to their customers. I said that I'd be more than happy to pay for the notarization and that I'm planning on opening a checking account locally in the next week, and that I'm thinking about Bank of America... but for now I don't have access to my money due to this situation (I explained briefly that someone had stolen my check card and my account had been frozen until they can issue me a new card, hence the need for this notarization on the affidavit), and therefore can't open any kind of account until next week. The guy then said that the notary service "is only for bank forms anyway", as if he completely wasn't listening when I told him that it was an affidavit from a bank. He looked at me blankly, said "sorry" in a very fake tone, and walked away. So, I went across the street to this little insurance agency and the woman there was very sweet and notarized my form and we had a nice talk. Then I stopped at the walk-up window of this little cafeteria next door for some coffee and chatted with the owner for 10 minutes or so over 2 shots of cafe cubano that he refused to charge me for, as a "welcome to the neighborhood" thing. It was very nice of him. I want to go back there for cubano sandwiches sometime soon.

I'm kind of drained from yesterday and all I want is a crunch wrap supreme from Taco Bell. My gaaaaawwd, those things are yummilicious. I think it might be another mac & cheese night. I don't think I can bring myself to cook.

I really miss the man. I'm so glad he gets back tomorrow night. I'm not good at sleeping alone anymore and I think we could both use some nice cuddle time.

yuck

I never got around to detailing the yuckiness of yesterday like I wanted to. I don't have time now because I have to run out the door in a few minutes, but here's the short version:

• The man is out of town for a funeral, which is very sad and I miss him terribly.
  
• I was on the phone for an hour & 1/2 w/the bank in the morning because those transactions that I didn't recognize on my account are from someone stealing my card. Nice. Mine expires this month, so whoever took it swiped the replacement out of the mail. Used it at Walmart somewhere in NY. First of all, I've been in FL for the last 3 weeks, so it wasn't me. Second, and more importantly, I'm a Target girl anyway. I have to sign an affidavit saying the charges aren't mine, get it notarized, send it back, then the bank has 2 weeks to get my money back. They're really great and they got right on it, but 2 weeks? I have NO money and no way to access my account because they had to freeze my card.
  
• I went to get my suit & shoes to put in the car so I could change after work for my interview in the afternoon and Duke had chewed up my awesome orange open-toed pump - my favorite shoes. This is despite the 2 chew toys sitting right next to the shoe he dragged into the living room.
  
• After the bank fiasco I only had 12 minutes to take a shower and get ready - hence I looked like shit all day.
  
• Went to the interview, it was fine, it went well, I think they're going to call me back, but I don't know that I want them to.
  
• Interview ran long, I didn't have time to get the affidavit notarized because all the banks were closed already.
  
• Ran out of gas on 95 coming home after the interview. Oh yeah, nice one, blondie. It was classic. A very nice biker guy picked me up, took me to get some diesel, and took me back to the car - that looked great, me on a bike in a skirt suit. Diesel engines have to be primed if they run out of gas, so we fiddled with it for 20 minutes before a roadside assistance dude showed up. He did some air filter trick and the car started right up. I went back to the same gas station, filled up, and got home just before 8:00.
  
• Duke is limping more than usual and refuses to put any weight on his back leg. I'm afraid he's done something pretty bad to himself. He's going to the vet Friday morning. Like I can afford that right now. Poor dog.
  

On the up side - my boss at the part time gig is cool. The biker guy and the roadside assistance guy saved my ass and they were awesome. The man gets back tomorrow night. I get paid tomorrow, even though it won't be much. I had mac & cheese for dinner and it was yummy.

Off to get this damn thing notarized...

Click here to read a great blog

Today sucks donkey balls.

I'll explain why later, right now I must go stuff my face with mac & cheese. It's a neccessity at this moment. The day has gone to crap and my appetite has gone to crap food. At least it's consistent.

On the up side my little blog got mentioned and linked on another blog (it's so cool and funny and insightful and real... you should check it out because Tess is way cool) and that rocks. http://bacardishotswithakoolaidchaser.blogspot.com/

So, I guess today doesn't completely suck donkey balls. Maybe just licks 'em.

Serenity now...

Today has been bizarre.


It's been so bizarre that I'm not quite sure where the normalcy left off and the bizarre-ness began. Let me first say that this post is tinged with sake, as I made myself an excellent lychee martini half an hour ago and it's seeping into my very grateful bloodstream as I type. Oh, those Japanese, they use rice in so many wonderful ways.

Back to the bidness at hand. Bizarre-o land. That's where I live. Let's start with yesterday. The man and I went to the beach. It was a beautiful morning (as you can see from the pics) and the water was warm. Nothing strange about that. However, the otherwise lovely morning was marred by some unsettling financial news that got me all riled up and stressed out. I called my bank's automated system from the car on the way to the beach to make sure that this month's student loan payment was deducted from my account as it should have been and found that there were 2 pending transactions (rather sizeable ones) that I didn't authorize. The system doesn't tell you what the charges are for, it just lists the dates and the amounts. I couldn't find anything out yesterday since the bank was closed, so I had to call first thing this morning. I tried my best to be calm about the missing money and enjoy my time at the beach with the man (who was a doll the whole time I was being a lunatic), but it was hard to put the thought of money problems out of my mind. I snapped the pics you see and swam a little, but was on pins and needles the whole time.

This morning when I called, a very nice woman told me that she didn't have access to the details of the withdrawals since they hadn't been "hard posted" yet, and I should call back after lunch, sometimes the pending transactions from a previous business day are available the next afternoon. I spent 2 minutes in a frenzy, worried over my disappearing money once again, and then decided to put it behind me and get on with my day. Took a quick, crash course in writing html online and taught myself all sorts of really cool code tricks and tags I didn't know before. Then went to work (my new part time job!) and actually used said newfound knowledge. That was fun and rewarding. My brain works, at least partially. A little reassurance goes a long way. The afternoon at work went well, the guy I work for is pretty cool and laid-back. We have nice small talk and the work isn't hard. It's a great part time thing.

Then, I got home from work and there was a message on the voice mail from a company I sent my resume to yesterday in response to a job listing the man found online. The position sounds good (the very little I know about it, anyway) and the company does very cool work (checked out their website). They want me to come in for an interview tomorrow, which is very exciting, but it leaves me with the problem of figuring out what to wear when hardly any of my clothes are Florida-friendly and professional at the same time. I was in such a tizzy after I scheduled the interview that I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off for about 15 minutes torturing the poor man by asking him if certain jackets went with certain pants and skirts and does this go and this looks stupid, doesn't it, doesn't it??? It was pathetic. He eventually convinced me to calm down, take a deep breath, eat some dinner and then go back to the clothing dilemma. I then proceeded to break down into a blithering idiot, crying my eyes out and pacing the kitchen like a fool. It's the money stuff that's weighing on me, it's the nerves about this interview because I've put a lot of pressure on myself to be fantastic tomorrow since the money woes would really be helped out by a great full time position, it's that I miss my friends back in NYC and DC, it's that the man has to leave for a few days (there's been a death in the family, and here I am worrying about all sorts of things and my family is fine... I am such a selfish bitch sometimes), it's a lot of things, really, and all the little stressors came to the surface tonight in the kitchen. Lucky for me the man is great in a crisis and he just held me and told me that everything will be alright. The great thing is that I know he's right. I just wish it would come sooner. And I wish I found lots of money in a secret compartment out in the garage in a loose cinder block or something. And I wish I had someone to come dress me in fabulous clothes tomorrow for this interview.

I almost forgot, I got an email about a friend's wedding today. We've had not one conversation about me being in her wedding, yet this particular email was titled "Hello Bridesmaids". I was on a list with 6 other girls who got this email giving us the website of the bridesmaids dresses she's picked out for us to wear... and this is the first I've heard mention of me being in the wedding. Is it just me, or is that strange/rude/ambush-esque? The dress costs more than the plane ticket to attend the wedding. There's something majorly wrong with that. Even if I had a bank account that didn't resemble the scarlet letter right now I'd still think there was something amiss there.

Tennis elbow, and arm, and legs, and abs...

Tennis is not the dainty, refined, hoity toity rich white people wearing expensive white outfits type of game that a lot of people think it is. Today it happened to be the kick Melissa's ass and make her beg for mommy type of game. The man is a good tennis player. He used to play in a league and he's been at it for years. He's just outright good. Then there's me. I'm, well, let's just say that I'm nowhere close to outright good. Or outright halfway decent for that matter. I suck. OK, I said it. I suck at tennis and I'm a pathetic excuse for an athlete. I'd like to be a better tennis player so the man and I could play together and it would be a nice thing for us to do together. You really can't beat it - it's free (aside from extra balls and stuff because he already has raquets), it's great exercise (more about that part in a minute), and it's something we can do together.

Sounds like a good plan, yes? Here's the snag - in case you missed the previous mention of this, I suck at tennis. I'm a sucky, ass-sucking, suckified tennis player. I try hard, though, and I want to be a better one, so I think there's hope. Here's where the good exercise part of the equation comes in... We went to the park today and he taught me how to serve, how to have a better grip, and he explained the importance of follow-through (oh tennis, you metaphor for life). It was actually great. My play wasn't great, but it was great to get out there and have him teach me a few things. But, it almost killed me. Put me on a track and I could run until you tell me to stop, put me on a tennis court and make me start and stop and start and stop and I practically pass out. I'm not a short-bursts-of-energy kind of girl. I'm a start, go for a while and then stop kind of girl. Tennis is not that kind of game. I was sweating like it was the last day my body was ever going to be able to sweat and it was taking full advantage. I was panting like Duke and my legs felt like jell-o when it was all said and done.

We only had 2 or 3 rallies consisting of more than just the man hitting the ball gently toward me, me running to hit it, and then me missing it in a dramatic fashion involving grunts and jumps through the air with flailing legs. But those 2 or 3 rallies are what's got me hooked for the next time we can go to the court. It's like golf - you go to the range and you hit a whole bucket of balls. Most of them are crap, but it's those few really long, straight drives that keep you coming back. After today's display of skill, or lack thereof, I can't wait until we can get back there. Maybe I'm masochistic, but I think I'm going to like the aches and pains I feel from this tomorrow. I'm glad I have such a great coach.

P.S. The man taught me how to drive a stick shift yesterday. It was awesome. I stalled twice, but it felt really good to be able to drive on a real road and not be all freaked out by the fact that I was actually driving a manual transmission car. It's in preparation for when we get the Jeep registered. Until it's got plates I drive it up & down the driveway. It's thrilling. Woo hoo.

P.P.S. I start my part time job tomorrow. Yay!

Hey, Berkeley Chick!!!

If you're the chick from Berkeley can you please tell me how the cover letter writing is going? I left you that comment and then I (like a typical blonde) forgot to bookmark your blog. I want to know how your applications are coming along. :) Thanks.

Everyone else - smooches and smacks!

why.i.hate.dc

why.i.hate.dc This just makes me laugh. If you live in DC or you used to live in DC or you've been there once or know someone who has... this blog is funny. I wouldn't say I hate DC. I would say that this person does and there's humor in angst. Click it and check out the street sign graphic on the left side. teeheehee Having spent 8 years there I can truly appreciate all DC has to offer, but I can also truly find fault in the overly pretentious political peacocking that goes on up there. Sheesh.

Friday in Miami... what a strange day

There are times in my life that remind me that C+C Music Factory was right - there are, indeed, Things That Make You Go Hmm. Today is one of those times. It all started out when we went to get the title of the man's motorcycle from the title beaureau. We had to pick up the crazy old guy he bought the bike from in order to get the title, you see, the COG (crazy old guy) lost the title and he needed to be there in person with the man in order to have a legal transfer. So, we go pick up the COG and head over to the title place. Well, the COG is really weird (he's not the COG for nothing) and we're standing in line and he starts getting all fidgety. Then he goes, "I'm eastern Eurpoean. We're all very paranoid." Nice. This is after he said the line was going to be long because of all the "Cuban mamas". And he wasn't being cute or the least bit complimentary. (not as bad as the other day when he made a comment about Haitians, called them Carribbeaners. It was funny because anytime someone is that predjudiced it's kind of amusing, but creepy because he's old school eastern Eurpoean and I wonder what other groups of people he can't stand... note to self: don't talk about being a pseudo Jew the next time you see the COG) Then, he pats the leg pocket on his cargo pants and says to the man, "I have something to show you later. Something I'm selling. You might need it in your neighborhood." Well, instantly we knew he was talking about a gun. You know, to protect the man and me from any of those Carribbeaners in the neighborhood.

The COG had a friggin' GUN in his pocket. Again, nice. So, we finish up at the title broker, we get back in the car to take the COG home and he whips out the gun. Oh yeah. In traffic he pulls it out and starts talking about how it's never been fired and how he has the case for it and even a pearl handle. It has 2 interchangeable barrels to fire 2 different sized bullets. This gun was the tiniest, coolest gun I've ever seen, but it was still weird that the dude had the gun and was showing us IN THE CAR in case we wanted to buy it from him. He handed it to me and everything. The gun is wicked cool, I must say. It has an adjustable scope and it's called the Black Widow. He can't bend his index finger enough to fire it if he had to, so he's selling it. He's 70, body doesn't work like it used to - he has to get a sidecar just so he can ride his new BMW because it's too heavy for him. The gun's way too small for the man's hand, but it fits quite nicely in mine... I just don't think I could have a handgun. I think I'd be too freaked out by having it in the house. I like going to the range and acting all buff and shit, but I like to leave it all there when I go home, you know? It's just not a Melissa type of thing to own a (very concealable) handgun. Anyway, isn't that weird? What a strange afternoon. On the way home we stopped at the dollar store. Man, I love that! Nothing like the title bureau, the COG, being one of the only 3 non-Spanish speaking people in the title bureau, a random handgun, and the dollar store. It's not even 5:00 yet!

(small) Sigh of Relief

I got the job I interviewed for yesterday morning. Yay! That's good news because it's a job. Period. It's only 4 days a week and 5 hours a day, but it's something and it will help pay the bills, which is exactly what a job should do. Maybe I can get a weekend job to earn some extra money, too. Now I'm employed and I can rest a little easier knowing that I'll have at least a little bit of income. *sigh* I'm happy about going back to work. The guy seems cool and it's easy to get to, so those are bonuses in my book. It will be pretty brainless work (a lot of data entry to get his website beefed up), but that's alright. I can save my creativity to get ready for my show coming up in the Fall and K's wedding that's less than 2 months away. It's an important day for her and I want to do as much as I can to help her out. She's very special to me.

I think the man is relieved that I got some type of job, too. It's been hard not having a paycheck, even though it's only been 2 weeks, because that puts a lot of pressure on him and when business isn't as busy as he thought it'd be it's tough to keep a whole house full of bills going. At least now it's not as tough. He's amazing. I'm very lucky to be his.

Bathroom Humor and Other Themes of the Day

Click the title. Go ahead, do it. Dooo eeeeeeeet. Juvenile? Yes. Funny enough to possibly make you pee a little? Probably.

So, I have a job interview tomorrow morning. It's with a guy who runs a business out of his house. Sketchometer is registering a 6.2, but I'm hoping that when I get there the slime factor will be negligible. We were in the car this morning and the man said, "If this guy tomorrow is remotely slimy," then I cut him off and said, "Then there's no way I'm working in his home." He goes, "Exactly." It was funny. And, well, cute. Nice to know that he's a little protective. It felt good. Back to the interview... it's at 10:00. The guy needs someone who can do a little of everything. He posted an ad on craigslist about the position and said that he needed a variety of skills, so I emailed him. Subject line: Assistant Position - I'm your Gal Friday. He wrote back to "Ms. Friday". That cracked me up. From what I gather it's some bookkeeping, Ebay stuff (he sells parts and custom accessories for racing off road and street motorcycles, some of which is on Ebay), website management (basic HTML which I will be learning real quick-like if I get the job), data entry, phone calls, that kind of administrative stuff. He sounds pretty cool, so it would be nice if it works out. It's a part time gig that would only be about 20 hours a week in the afternoons mostly. He's a small business owner that might even pay me under the table, which would rock since taxes suck donkey balls. I figure I can still look for a full time position and work this part time thing at the same time in case something awesome comes my way. Let's just hope I can find the place alright tomorrow... nothing like getting lost in Miami. Supposedly it's easy to get around down here, at least that's what people keep telling me, but as far as I've seen the streets follow a very loose set of rules - nothing like New York. The "grid" system they have here is so fragmented that you can be on 41st St. for a block and then *poof* you're on 36th St. w/o even making a turn. What's weirder is that you can be on 4th Ave, 50-something St., and some other street name all at the same time. Bizarre. Crazy Floridians.

Also, the man got the new (new to me, I should say) Jeep running this afternoon. The driver's window is stuck open at the moment, so he's going to take the door panel off and put it back in the track. We picked up a new battery for it today and it started up on the first try, which is a good sign. Can't wait to get a new tire on it so we can drive it around and see what else needs to be done. The man says it's in pretty good shape. Especially for being 17 years old - yep, that's right - 17 years old. It's amazing. How can a car that's only 10 years younger than I am be in such good shape? It's been all over the place, too. Started out in New Hampshire, then headed to Colorado, then to New York, then down to Miami. It's got a crapload of miles on it, but as long as you maintain those engines they'll run for a really long time. Even longer than 17 years, which is a lucky thing for me. I still can't believe that guy just gave it to us. He was so cool. I hope we're able to keep in touch with him. We meet the coolest people on craigslist... Speaking of cool people I met on craigslist, I miss the Brooklyn girls. I hope they're doing well.

Speaking of girls, I miss my DC chickies, too. A very cool trio of them had dinner together last night and I wish I could have been there with them. C has a brand new baby (who is too cute, thank goodness for digital photos), J seems happy and has a great b/f who she's moving in with this Fall, and K's getting things ready so she can get married next month. They all have such great things going on in their lives. It's nice to know that the people you care about are doing well. It makes me smile. They all deserve to be happy, that's for sure.

Busy little bee, that's me!

This Summer and the impending Fall are going to be some crazy busy months for this girl. I'm way excited about the whole thing actually. Let's see what we've got going on... Well, I moved to Miami from New York. That was big. I'm looking for a job - have an interview for a part time gig tomorrow working as an assistant for a guy who builds custom racing motorcycles. What else? The super fun part - my bestest pal is getting hitched in September and I'm the maid of honor. How cool is that? I've never been a maid of honor before and I'm totally thrilled and really touched by the fact that she asked me to do that for her and play that part in her special day. It's even better that I like the soon to be hubby. I really do like him a lot. It's great. They're a fantastic couple and I am really happy that she's found someone who can love her as much as she can love him back. About a month after her wedding I need to be back in New York because... get this - I'm having a fashion show!!! Me, little me, is having a fashion show. I'm wicked jazzed about it. I have a lot of work ahead of me. There are a couple ideas that I'm brainstorming for K's wedding and festivities associated with such event. I need to flesh them out and do a bit of research on that front. The man and I are working on the Jeep we were just given. Ok, that's a lie - the man is working on it. I'm telling him how awesome he is for knowing all this stuff about cars and fixing this one for me. He got it running, that's a major hurdle crossed right there. And we're still fixing up the house. Bit by bit this place it turning into quite a nice little home. I love it here.

So, since I have all this to do I need to stop blogging and go do something. We're heading out to go switch the Jeep's title over to my name. Wow, I'll have an asset. How strange.

Finger lickin' good karma

You know what's tasty? Fried chicken. Yep, it is. Mmm. It's especially nice when you get it from the Colonel when you don't want to cook. We got pie and sherbert from the grocery, too. Cherry lime sherbert, it sounds yummy, we'll see if it lives up to the expectations.

Here's an even cooler event from Melissaland today... the man was checking out craigslist and came across an ad from a guy who is moving and needs to get rid of his car. Well, one of his cars. He has 3 and he's moving back to New York (ironic?) and needs to unload his '88 Jeep Cherokee. The thing is it needs a new battery, one new tire, and the gear box sticks a bit. Tire & battery - easy. Gear box - easy if you're the man. The man knows loads about cars, it amazes me all the time. Anyway, the guy said that he had to move quickly and didn't want to go to the trouble of finding someone to buy the Jeep, so he decided to give it away since he knows there are plenty of people out there who need cars. Bottom line: I ended up with a Jeep for FREE that we're getting towed back to the house tomorrow and the man will take a look and see what all needs to be tweaked. How cool is that? The man finds everything. I mean everything - from a great deal on some cute little jacket that I never would have noticed on the rack to free Jeeps... he's got game. I told the Jeep guy that there is some really good karma coming his way. Not having a job means that I don't have any income and can't afford a car, which means that I don't have transportation to a job should I actually snag one. It's one of those typical vicious cycles. Vicious cycle circumvented this time around. Score one for the M-ster!

Bad note: the man is getting a cold and he feels like poo. I hope he gets better soon.

P.S. Chipotle isn't starting to build anything in SoFl until late this year. Plus, they're starting in Boca before Miami. Helloooooo??!!!!?? Boca? C'mon. Miami is where the cool happens. The cool is not in Boca. The rich is in Boca, but the cool is definitely happening here. More time added to my burrito-less existence. Oh, the agony...

Hello, Mr. Dealer

We figured out that the man & I are definitely the only white couple in the neighborhood. Which is fine by us, but so far about 1/2 the people don't know how to react to us... they just blankly stare when we say hello while we're walking Duke, or they ignore us and act like we're invisible. The other half are very nice and always say hello and how are you and stuff like that. You know, normal neighborly pleasantries. Our immediate neighbors are really nice. Bobby and Bernice to our right are cool. They take care of their grandkids during the day and sometimes they come over when I'm outside to play with Duke. Cute kids. Bobby is a singer and he works at the Hard Rock Cafe with his band. He wears this purple 70s getup, it's awesome. The guy across the street is really nice, too. He always says hi and makes small talk. The thing is... I'm convinced he's a drug dealer. Big time dealer, too. He's outside every night on the phone for hours. Hours, dudes, hours. He assumes one of two posts - the lawn chair at the end of the driveway or pacing at the edge of the yard. He calls me "Miss" sometimes, even though we're about the same age, I'd say. Cars come by and stay for a few minutes, then drive away. Telltale dealer activities. He's really sweet, though. Loves Duke. Duke barks at him like crazy. He's turned into this fierce "guard dog". Little does anyone know that if they would actually come into the yard as he's barking his head off at them, they'd just get a good slobbering. It's a good front, though.

Man, this neighborhood needs a Starbucks. This neighborhood needs a lot of things. We're basically in Little Haiti, so we have a lot of roti shops and convenience stores that don't seem to be all that convenient if you're not Haitian. And here's the worst part... no Chipotle ANYWHERE in the greater Miami area. Gainesville has one. GAINESVILLE. Jesus. I emailed Chipotle yesterday to tell them that they're responsible for my withdrawal symptoms and that I cannot be held accountable for my own actions if they don't build a Chipotle in my back yard very soon. Lucky for everyone involved on the website's list of locations it now says "Miami (coming soon)". Whew! I wonder how soon "soon" actually is.